Fallen
by Missa6
Summary: 1+5x2 Heero angsting over his love. i suck at summaries please just check it out. Chapter 7 posted, so far, there are only 8 parts in this story, not 10 as it is saying.
1. Default Chapter

prologue  
Heero pov  
  
I always felt like an out cast. They are all so full of life and able to express at least some sort of emotion. Or at the very least have likes and dislikes. Don't get me wrong I have plenty of them. I just wasn't allowed to acknowledge them. So when they all seem to know the inside jokes and the stories, I just knew how to tell them to get serious and stop fooling around, even though I would have loved to be part of the fun too.  
  
Flashback  
"Everyone come to the kitchen." Came Heero's voice at the bottom of the stairway. Seeing only Wufei  
come down the steps he frowned. "Where is everyone?"   
"They stayed up watching one of Duo's movies last night." Just then the three other pilots came out of the living room.  
"Oh come on 'Fei, you know you should have joined us last night." He said poking Wufei in the side. (not with that all you hentai's)  
"Sorry but a movie called Spaceballs sounded more like it would decrease my I.Q. not entertain me. Quatre watching that crap with you doesn't surprise me, but Trowa, how in the hell did they convince you to watch that filth?"   
"Ok everyone." Heero cut in before Trowa could answer. "We have a mission. We leave tonight and the details are on the kitchen table. I suggest you get prepared." He said heading to his room.  
  
Later on that night.  
"We just gotta get in there, get those mobile suits and blow up that base." Duo called over his com.   
Quatre chimed in, "Sounds dangerous." He stated with a slight giggle.  
"Extremely, plus I don't know how the hell we're going to do it." Duo snickered.  
Laughter could be heard coming from three of the suits and a growl came from Wing. "You better know what the hell you're doing, Maxwell."  
"All right, all right geez." Then after a slight pause and a snicker, "Prepare gundams for ludicrous speed."   
Quatre broke in at this point. "What are you preparing? You're always preparing, just go."   
"Ludicrous speed. GO!" Duo called as they took off towards their target still laughing.  
  
The five gundams were tearing through the mobile suits like they weren't even there. Then Wufei and Heero slipped out of formation and headed down to the base, leaving the others to finish the mobile suits.   
Shots fired right across Quatres gundam, "Shit!"   
"Quatre, 10 o'clock," Trowa said over the com. Turning Quatre cut just in time across the middle of the suit flying at him. "Hey I don't have to put up with this, I'm rich." He laughed cutting through two more suits.   
Duo erupted into laughter. Going after the suits ahead of him, until they suddenly blew up. Looking to his right where the shots came from he saw Trowa. "They were mine, asshole." He said giving Trowa a death glare over the com link.  
Trowa just looked bored. "Well you should have been faster, asshole."  
The pilot of Sandrock jumped in, "I knew it I'm surrounded by assholes. Keep firing assholes!" He shouted merrily to the others.  
A few minutes later the base exploded and Wufei and Heero moved back into formation. Finishing off the battle, the Wing pilot came over the com, "Mission Complete. Let's go."  
  
End flashback.  
  
It was always like that, even though Wufei didn't usually join in most things. Just having Duo so close to him in other ways made him part of the group. Sure a lot has happened. I'm the man who saved the world right. Yes I did survive. I make it through in situations where normally people would not. But I did what needed to be done. Nothing more. And now, can I do what my heart tells me should be done? No. I wouldn't dare. Yes, Heero Yuy is a masochist. I feel in love. What does that have to do with masochism you might ask? Well I went and fell in love with someone I could never have. Now the war is over. Truly over. And I must face this new peace alone.   
Well I have Relena. Now don't jump to conclusions. She's my best friend and confidant. We tell each other everything. I know some think there's more going on. But that's all there is to it. I think I've gotten side-tracked, where was I…ah, yes facing this peace alone… what more can I say to that affect. I have come to one conclusion, I must tear down my perfect soldier mask. There is no place for me anymore. However now I get to put up a new mask. I'm going to attempt to put up most of my true feelings but delete the ones I don't want to show. But then when you look at it from that point, I guess that is how everyone operates, do they not?   
So now that this is settled I get to see just how long I can keep my friends, my friends, without fucking it up. Yes I said fucking up. I do it quite often despite this whole perfect soldier deal. I must keep my love a secret or I could lose the best friends I've ever had. And that frightens me. More than anything, I'm afraid. I've fallen.   
tbc  
first story be kind. 


	2. Ch 1

Ch 1  
  
AC 197 March. 2 months after the end of the war.  
  
'Quatre and his damn parties.' Heero thought to himself as he was getting dressed. But honestly he really didn't mind. The war was over now. 'No more perfect soldier. I can almost be myself.' Almost. Letting emotions show. Show caring and love. Yes he did love the four ex-pilots. They were his brothers. Well three he loved as brothers. For one his love was beyond that. But he couldn't let that show. Why? Because he's happily involved with someone else. But if he couldn't have him he was going to make damn sure Wufei was happy.  
Wufei and Duo had been together for a while now. And while it hurt to see them together it made him glad that the Chinese pilot was not alone anymore.   
"Well I better get going." He said taking another look in the mirror and then heading out the hotel room. He knew Quatre wanted them all to stay there after the party tonight, but he wasn't sure if he could handle it.   
  
Trowa was sitting in the kitchen watching Quatre run around insanely trying to get food set out and drinks ready. "Quatre sit down you've checked everything over at least 10 times. You're going to wear yourself out before the party even starts."   
"I just want everything to be perfect." He said huffing, but sat down as Trowa had asked. "This is our first real party since the end of the war. I want everyone to be able to relax and have a good time."  
"Yes and you need to relax as well." Before Quatre could respond the door bell rang and there was a rush of blonde Arabian running towards the door. Trowa walked calmly behind him shaking his head.   
"Duo, Wufei. Hey come on in."   
"Hey Quatre, you haven't been going to too much trouble for us have you?" the braided haired teen said knowing what the answer would be.   
"Of course he has." Trowa said, grinning at the 'you told on me' look on the little blondes face.   
"Hey, Trowa. Well are we ready to get this party started?" Duo said bouncing around the hallway.   
"We will be as soon as Heero gets here. Why don't you all head to the dining room." He was cut off by a knock on the door. "Oh that must be him." He said opening the door ushering in the Wing pilot.   
"Come on foods waiting." Duo said urging everyone forward.   
"There's a surprise, Duo hungry." Wufei mumbled pulling on Duo's braid to keep him from taking off running.   
"Ow that hurts, you know." He whined slowing down a bit.  
Once all were seated, Quatre raised his glass. "A toast. To the bravest me I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. The war has finally come to an end as does one chapter of our lives. May the next be full of happiness and joy. As the beginning of peace falls, we find ourselves needing to go against all our training and relax. Starting our own lives and live for ourselves in this peace we have paid for. May you reach for your dreams and enjoy all that you have fought so diligently for- a chance for life, to its fullest." The five raised their glasses to drink all agreeing with the speech. Now was their time to live.  
"So Duo, are you going to take up that offer from Hilde to work in the salvage business?" The blonde asked.  
"Well…umm." He blushed and snuck a peek at Wufei. Smirking Wufei gave a slight nod of his head. Duo's smile growing wide continued, "Wufei decided to join the Preventers and managed to convince me to as well," his face tinged with a blush. "And we're planning on buying a house."   
"That's great Duo! Where are you looking? Let me know if you need any help." Quatre and Duo talked on.   
No one noticed the light deeming in a pair of cobalt eyes. 'God I didn't think it would hurt this much even though I saw it coming.' After the meal was over and listening to the group discussing what kind of house Wufei and Duo would be looking for, Heero decided a walk was in good order.   
Returning to the house later on, he went to the kitchen for a drink. Pouring some Bacardi and coke into a glass, he downed it then made himself another. After getting nice buzz going finally went in search of the others. Finding them in the living room he took a seat as far away from everyone as he could without anyone wondering if something was wrong. Then just sat and listened. Then a question brought him out of thought.  
  
"Yo Heero, what are you planning now. You going to run off and marry the Queen of the world?" Duo said snickering.  
Heero slammed his glass on the table, causing the long haired boy to jump and drawing all eyes to him.   
"You shouldn't speak of things you know nothing about." He all but growled. He looked around and then ducked his head. "I…I'm sorry." He stuttered getting up. "Maybe I should go." He turned to go but Duo grabbed his arm.   
"Look man, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it? I thought she really liked you. She's been stalking you all this time. Is it a one-sided thing or something? Maybe I can help." Seeing the look of pain cross cobalt eyes he stopped.   
Heero just looked at Duo, a small sad smile on his face. "One-sided?" he whispered. He looked at the other three then back to Duo. The pity on their faces was almost his undoing. Unshed tears shone in his eyes. "Look guys I'm tired. I better get going."  
"Heero why don't you stay here tonight." Spoke Quatre. Seeing the worried look on his face he couldn't tell him no. "Yeah I guess I should. Thanks." After being told which room he could stay in, he laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling.  
  
Flashback  
  
"Heero?" The question in Relena's voice got his attention and he stopped pacing.   
"Yes Relena."  
"Look what's wrong? We've gotten pretty close, don't close me off now." She pleaded  
"I know, but I don't believe anyone can help me with this problem." He said quietly as he sat down beside her on the sofa.  
"Well if I know you like I think I do, this can only be one of two things. Either it's about the war being over and you don't know what to do next," She paused for a moment to gauge his reaction. "Or this is about a certain Chinese pilot." She saw him flinch. "Oh, Heero, why don't you just talk to him?"  
He laid his head in his hands. "And say what, Rel', he's with Duo. He's happy. You should see him. His eyes shine when they're together. I may wish to be with him but more than anything I wish for him to be happy. Duo loves him and he's treating him the way he should be treated. He worships and cherishes him." His voice broke on the last line and he leaned into Relena's embrace. She could feel him shuddering and warm tears on her arm. But the next words broke her heart and she could swear she could hear his heart shatter. "Yes, I love him Rel', but it's a one-sided love."  
  
End flashback.  
  
Heero curled up into a ball and softly cried himself to sleep.  
  
Duo watched Heero's retreating back. Coming back to the table, the celebrating completely broken at this point. "Maybe we should…"  
"Duo, no. We are not going to pry into Heero's love life."  
"But 'Fei, he's hurting. I'm glad that he finally feels he can show his emotions to us, but for this? The greatest hero in the world and now he has no one to share it with." He leaned on Wufei's shoulder.  
"He needs to work this out himself. If he wants help he will talk to one of us." Trowa stated calmly.  
"I guess you're right." Duo sighed. "Guys I think I'm going to bed. Wu' you coming?"  
"Yeah let's go. Goodnight."   
As the two walked up the stairs Quatre stood to pick up.  
"I'll do it." Quatre began to protest but saw the look on Trowa's face and nodded.  
"Ok. You want to watch a movie or something?" blue eyes pleading green. "Sure go pick one out and I'll be there in a minute." The taller boy said as he walked towards the kitchen with dishes.  
Meanwhile, Wufei and Duo were settled in bed talking.   
"Did you see the tears in his eyes?" Duo asked running his hand through Wufei's hair, the dark hair fanning out over Duo's chest.   
"Yeah. I understand what he's going through, though." The hand stopped in dark hair and raised Wufei's chin to look into almost black eyes. Seeing the question in the violet eyes he pushed on. "I had no one to live for. No meaning to my life after my colony… I had no reason to keep going until I had you. You gave me a reason to exist after the war. The want to make it through alive."  
"Oh 'Fei." Duo said as he leaned forward to press his lips to his loves forehead.   
Wufei crawling up a little on the bed and kissed Duo lightly. The kiss turned into something more pouring out love, passion, need, and hope. Soft sounds of pleasure filled the room as the two showed their love to each other.  
As Quatre and Trowa watched a movie and before long both were deep asleep on the couch.  
  
tbc... 


	3. Ch 2

Ch. 2  
  
  
  
Stretching, Heero woke up, the events of the night before wrecking havoc in his brain. 'Oh man I really messed up last night.' Inwardly groaning, he got up and went to shower. Looking in the mirror in the bathroom, he made sure there was no evidence of the tears he shed. 'If I don't cut that shit out it will really turn bad and I won't even have them as friends anymore. Ok I can do this. It's better than nothing, right? Just chill and get on with my life.' Nodding to himself, he went towards the smell of food coming from the kitchen.  
  
  
  
Trowa woke up the next morning feeling stiff. He tried to stretch but bumped into a warm body. Jerking awake he looked down and saw a blonde head near his chest. 'We must have fallen asleep watching that movie last night.' A small smile grew on his face as he continued to watch him sleep.  
  
"Where's a camera when you need it." Came a whisper from the door way.  
  
Trowa jumped, causing Quatre to wake up. They turned to the door, blush staining Trowa's cheeks. Quatre shook his head waking himself up, "Morning Heero." Taking in the rare smile on Heero's face, he looked to the other person on the couch and then realized just how close he was too green eyes. He jumped to the other side of the couch in embarrassment, ducking his head.   
  
"I just thought I should tell you two that breakfast is ready." Heero said, smile still on his face as he left the room.   
  
"Good morning, Trowa," the blonde said trying to fill the silence. Then jumped up and went towards the kitchen.  
  
Taking in the blush and Quatre's shy smile, he rose to follow shaking his head and chuckling slightly. Once the five were in the kitchen around the table Duo looked at Heero, trying to judge the other mans attitude. "Um, so Heero what are you going to now?" He looked nervous, hoping he hadn't just pissed his friend off.  
  
"Well, I talked to Une about joining the Preventers field agents." He stated showing no signs of being upset about the night before.  
  
"Really?!" squealed an excited Duo. "So you're going to be joining Wufei and me. That's great."  
  
"Yeah." Heero said the small smile coming back to his face.  
  
"Wow, Heero, that's twice in one day and it's only morning." Quatre said grinning.  
  
"What about you Trowa?" Heero asked.  
  
"I'm not really too sure at the moment. Cathrine has told me that I could always go back to the circus. But I'm just not sure I feel like traveling that much. I'd like to be in one place. A home." He spared a quick glance at Quatre. No one missed the look, aside from the receiving party. He was too busy pushing his food around his plate.  
  
"You could always join the Preventers too, Tro. They're looking for people with training like ours. It would be great to have you out there with us." Wufei said as Quatre's head shot up in protest then looked quickly down again. 'Pull it together Winner. If he wants to join the Preventers it's certainly none of my business. If he wants to put himself in danger it's his choice. I mean it's not like he has anything holding him near me. If he wants to go out and get himself killed it's his own prerogative. If he wants to put himself in dangerous situations again and be gone from your life; oh Allah, what if he does and I never tell him how…' "all right?" Quatre caught the end of Duo's question and looked up.  
  
"Wha... what was that Duo?" stuttering trying to get his thought process back under control. But he couldn't help but wonder what the smile on Duo's face was for.  
  
"I said, are you all right? You look like someone just stole your favorite teddy bear or something."  
  
Flushing, Quatre smiled slightly. "I'm all right Duo. Well I need to get going. Um, you…umm, well, I'll be back later." With that said he got up and left the table.  
  
They watched his retreating back and then Duo turned to Wufei. "Nice work, 'Fei. You almost gave the boy a heart attack." Duo said to his boyfriend.  
  
"What? I was just giving Barton some options." He stated smugly.  
  
"Right, I know you too well to believe that. You're the one who keeps bugging about 'Oh, they would just be so cute together.'" Duo laughed at the embarrassed blushed that caught the Chinese mans face.   
  
Trowa sat listening to the lovers and then jumped into the conversation. "You know, I think I can do a better job of getting him without any help; especially, when your idea of helping is to worry him." He said with an amused look on his face as he got up leaving the room.   
  
He found Quatre sitting on the front porch his head in his hands.  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
Said boy jumped at the intrusion on his thoughts. "Hey, Trowa, what's up?"  
  
He sat down beside the little blonde and looked at him out of the corner of his eye. "I was thinking about joining the Preventers." He paused to see how the information was taken. He noticed a slight slump in normally properly raised shoulders. "For an office job. You know, intel work."  
  
"Oh." Came the soft response.  
  
"Quatre."   
  
"Trowa."  
  
They said in unison.  
  
"You go first."  
  
"You can go first."  
  
Once again, said together. They both stopped and laughed. "Trowa, I'm sorry. It's really none of my business if you join the Preventers for office work or a field job, or even if you go back to the circus for that matter. You need to do what your heart tells you to do." Quatre said ducking his head slightly.  
  
"Do what my heart tells me to do, uh?" Quatre looked up at the emotion in the normally impassive voice. Trowa was leaned in very close. He could feel his warm breath on his skin. "Yeah" Quatre whispered his eyes widened and his heart was pounding at the look in those green eyes.  
  
"Quatre." His voice low as he leaned in further, lips oh so close to his goal. "My heart leads me to one place." His hand came up to caress Quatre's cheek. "And that's to you." Blue eyes closed taking in the sweet words. "Because you have my heart. You are my heart."  
  
Quatre melted into Trowa's lips. A hand slipped into pale locks, pulling the sweet lips closer. They broke the kiss and curled up together on the bench.  
  
"Oh, Trowa, I'm such a fool."  
  
"Why is that little one?"  
  
"Instead of just talking to you I made an idiot of myself in there. I was brooding over what might happen to you if you joined the Preventers. And I kinda went off the deep end."  
  
"It's ok. The guys did that for a reason anyway. Besides, how many times a day do you think Duo makes a fool of himself." He laughed softly pulling Quatre tightly to him. Comfortable silence sank in as they sat on the swing lazily watching the morning go by, content to just finally be in each others arms.  
  
  
  
Preventers Headquaters.  
  
"Heero, please come in." Une said leading him into the office. "So what did you want to talk to me about?" She asked sitting across the desk from him.   
  
"Well, field agents are required to work in pairs and also the SOP says that couples are not allowed to be partners. I would like to request to be Maxwell's partner."  
  
Une sat back in her chair studying the boy in front of her. 'No man, despite age these boys grew up long ago.' "I see no problem with that; however, I would like to know what couples have to do with this."  
  
A small, but sad Une noted, smile formed on Heeros face. "Well it really isn't a secret, but Chang and Maxwell have been together for a while now."  
  
A knock on the door ended the conversation.  
  
"Come in." Une called knowing it would be the couple in question.  
  
"Hey, Une-baby." Duo said as he bounced into the office. "Oh, hey, Heero. I didn't know you were coming up here today."   
  
"We just finished up at personnel. All paperwork is filed." Wufei said as he sat in the only empty chair left.   
  
"Good now that you are all in the system and ready to go, there's just the subject of partners to discuss. Chang you'll be with Noin, you two should work very well together. Maxwell, you and Yuy will be together." Seeing them all nod in approval she continued. "Seeing as how it's almost the close of the work day and it's Thursday I don't expect to see any of you until Monday. Understood?" She stood in the gesture of dismissal. "Now gentlemen, I have work to do so with all due respect, get lost." Une said with a tiny smile on her face.  
  
Walking towards their cars Duo turned to Heero, "Well looks like we're partners. Wonder how things turned out like that?"  
  
"The SOP does state that couples cannot be partners." Wufei spoke up.  
  
"Yeah but it's not like Une could know we're together."  
  
"It's not like it's a secret." Heero said joining in the conversation.   
  
Duo looked back to Heero. "You told her didn't you?"   
  
Hearing no objection in Duo's voice Heero answered. "Yes."  
  
Duo just nodded.  
  
"Did you request the partners?" asked Wufei.  
  
"Yeah right, like Mr. Stoic would want to be stuck with me." He said with a laugh.  
  
"Actually, yes, I did. See, you can trust Wufei with any partner. But we wouldn't want some un-expecting person to get the God of Death as their partner. They might go insane before work could get done. So I thought I would take that out of the equation. That way I could keep you inline and everyone could get work done. And so half the Preventers agents don't quit on us." He said with a smirk. "Well I have to get going. Bye guys." With that Heero turned and walked to his car.   
  
The two stood for a minute after the perfect soldier's speech.   
  
"Well I'll be damned."  
  
"'Fei, is that really Heero Yuy?!" he turned to Wufei with a maniac smile. "I mean I knew he had it in him to be human and all, but it's really going to take some getting use to." He paused for a moment and his smile turned to a pout. "Wait, he just insulted me!"  
  
"I do believe he did." The Chinese man stated.  
  
"Man I thought I was going to get the fun of pulling that stick out of his ass." Duo said as they walked to their car.  
  
Heero sat in his car and watched as the others pulled out of the parking lot. Leaning his head on the steering wheel he sighed deeply. 'Oh man, this is going to be hard.' "Ok Yuy, get it together. You can do this." After his little pep talk he went in search of an apartment.  
  
  
  
April 197  
  
"Damn it all. What the fuck is their problem. We make plenty of money to cover the monthly payments. Fucking sons of bitches." Duo was pissed. After 6 hours of house hunting they had found the perfect house. But were denied the loan and didn't have enough money to make the massively ridiculous down payment the real estate agency was asking for. "They were being prejudice. There's nothing else to it. Damn it."  
  
The sounds of the door slamming had brought Quatre and Heero from the office into the front hall of Quatre's house. "I take it house hunting didn't go well?" the little blonde asked softly.  
  
"Well we found the perfect house but we can't get a loan to cover and it's just a big mess." Wufei spoke up deciding that if he let Duo try to explain all they would get would be obscenities. "We'll figure something out, ok baby?" he said running his fingertips across the upset teen's cheek.   
  
Duo calmed slightly. "Ok." Hearing a throat clear they saw the two others waiting for something. "What's up guys?"  
  
"We have a mission. Une wants to see us immediately." Heero said not looking all too happy about something.  
  
"Oh ok. Let's get going." Looking to his lover, "I'll call and let you know what's up. Ok?" leaning in, he kissed Wufei lightly.   
  
"Alright, I love you."  
  
"Love you too." Dark eyes watched Duo until the car pulled off and was out of sight.  
  
"That's a pretty serious look." Came the soft voice of Trowa.  
  
"Yeah, I just wanted to do this for him. That's all. Give him the home he's never had." Looking away from the window he saw looks of understanding coming from the other two in the room. "Well I better go and try to get this sorted out." He said walking towards his room, laptop in hand.  
  
Later on he got an email from Duo saying that they were heading out and would be back in two weeks tops. Emailing him back telling him to keep safe, he logged off and laid on the bed. 'This is hopeless no one will give us the loan.'  
  
  
  
Four days after Duo and Heero left, Wufei got a phone call saying that they got the house. "What do you mean?" Quatre and Trowa looked up hearing the excitement in his voice. "How? … Ok. Well Duo is out of town on business right now. When he gets back we'll come down and sign the paperwork. Thank you. Goodbye." He stood in a state of shock and slowly turned to the other two in the room. "We got the house." He said with a smile on his face.  
  
"How?" Quatre asked, very happy for his friends.  
  
"I don't really know. They just said that they got it worked out. That we got a deal on it or something." Wufei said, almost jumping out of skin looking more like Duo than himself. "Duo is going to be so happy."  
  
"That's wonderful." Trowa said smiling.  
  
"Well this calls for a celebration. We'll throw a surprise party for Duo when they get back!" Quatre exclaimed.   
  
  
  
A week later found a very exhausted Duo walking up the steps to Quatre's house. 'When will I get to have a home of my own? Instead of coming home to someone else's.' he thought bitterly. Turning to Heero "You don't have to walk me to the door you know." Not said unkindly just a statement. "I'm sure you're ready to get home."  
  
"I know." Was the only reply he received.  
  
Stepping inside, Duo was swept up into a huge hug. "I missed you too, 'Fei." He said hugging him tightly.  
  
"You look tired though, maybe this wasn't a good idea." Worried eyes looked Duo over.  
  
"Maybe what wasn't a good idea?" Curiosity winning over his tired state.  
  
"Come to the dining room." He followed and violet eyes almost bugged out of his face at what he saw. "What's this?" he whispered. Then he read the banner over the table that read: 'CONGRADULATIONS' "What?" he looked over to his lover who just nodded down to the table.  
  
The paperwork for the house was sitting there with a pen. Then a soft voice said in his ear, "We have a home, my love." Tears clouded his vision. "A home?" he said softly. He looked up to everyone. "I have a home." He said louder.   
  
Wufei looked to everyone trying to stop the tears coming to his own eyes. He saw as strange look on Heeros face. The blue eyed teen was smiling and just nodded his head. Not looking the least bit surprised. Confused he just turned his attention back to Duo.  
  
  
  
"Alright, that's the last thing out of the U-haul." Heero said setting a box in the kitchen. All five of them had spent the last four hours getting Wufei and Duo moved into their new house. They were still waiting for most of their furniture to be delivered. Quatre insisted on buying them something for the house as a present, and that had already been delivered so they crashed in there for a little bit to take a break.   
  
"Thanks guys, for helping us get it all in here. We should be able to take care of the rest if you want to get going." Duo said sitting on his new couch.   
  
"Well, Trowa and I do need to get going. Are you sure everything is taken care of?" he asked standing.   
  
"It's cool man. You and Trowa head out on your date now." Duo said winking at them.  
  
"Bye guys. See you later."   
  
  
  
"What about you, Heero?" Wufei asked.  
  
"I don't mind helping out for a while. I don't have anything else to do. Until dinner that is. Relena invited me over so I'll have to leave at 5:30." He said sitting back in the recliner. "Besides, you might need help getting that furniture moved around once it gets here."  
  
"Thank you. We really appreciate the help."   
  
"No problem."   
  
  
  
"Hey Heero, come in." Relena said. "How did moving day go?"   
  
"It went well. We actually got everything done a lot quicker than I had expected." He said following her into the dinning room.   
  
"How are you doing?" she asked.  
  
"Well I'm doing ok I guess. I just have to keep them from knowing that I'm emotionally unhinged right now." He said with a small laugh. "I don't want to have to lie to them about what's wrong. I can't tell them the truth." He said sighing.   
  
"I understand Heero. But I know that things will get better. Somehow."  
  
tbc… 


	4. Ch 3

Ch 3  
  
A.C. 197 July  
  
  
  
Quatre and Duo were in the corner, talking in hushed tones. Taking peeks every once in a while over to their lovers.  
  
"Why do I get the feeling that we are in trouble?" Wufei asked putting down three queens from his hand in rummy.   
  
"Because those two whispering is a sure sign that they're going to want to do something that we won't like." Trowa said laying down cards as well.  
  
"Ha! I'm out." Said Wufei, ending the game. "Another?"  
  
"No, I think not. You're already 300 points ahead of me. I know when to admit defeat." Said the green eyed boy as he threw his cards down.  
  
"If that were true Barton you would have quit 5 hands ago." Smirked the Chinese teen. Looking over to where Duo was sitting, he saw that the two had left. "Well is this a good thing or a bad?" he asked of Trowa.  
  
"I would say, bad. Those two sneaking off to conspire alone is definitely not a good thing." He sighed.   
  
"Well let's go see what they're up to." Wufei said as the two rose to from their seats to go after the pair. Finding the two tearing through Quatre's closet, they stood there, arms crossed over their chests, with questioning looks on each face.  
  
"Oh, hey 'Fei. We just had a great idea. Let's go out tonight." Duo pleaded bouncing up and down.  
  
"Where?" both asked worriedly.  
  
"Clubbing!" the other two responded excitedly.  
  
Wufei pondered this for a moment the asked, "All of us?"  
  
"Yeah well, I still haven't asked Heero. I was hoping you would." Violet eyes begging.  
  
"Me, why me?" the dark haired boy asked.  
  
"Because if you call then it won't just be another one of my bad ideas. He'll know you're all coming, and he'll be more likely to come. Plus it would be good for him and..."  
  
"Ok fine. I'll call him." Wufei stalked out of the bedroom towards Quatre's study to call. "Yeah but if you think he'll agree to this you're crazy, and besides who said I was going." Wufei pouted, as he was waiting for Heero to pick up the phone.  
  
"Aww you're so cute when you pout, 'Fei." Duo said leaning on the doorway.  
  
"SHUT UP! No, not you Heero! Sorry." Laughter erupted in the room as Duo and Quatre fell on the floor holding their sides. Even Trowa was covering his mouth with his hand trying to conceal his silent laughter.  
  
"Um, Wufei, what did you want?" Heero said chuckling slightly.  
  
"Oh yeah, apparently we're being drug out to a club tonight. You in?"  
  
"Which club?" Heero asked.  
  
"Seville's."  
  
After a second Heero answered and almost floored Wufei. "Yeah, sounds great."  
  
"I .. it does?" Wufei studdered.  
  
"Yes it does. I'll meet you there at 10. That gives us about an hour and a half. See ya there."  
  
"Ok bye." Confused Wufei hung up the phone and stared at it.  
  
"Well what did he say?"  
  
"He said it sounded great and that he would meet us there at 10." All laughter stopped as looks of shock covered their faces.   
  
"No way." Quatre said breaking the silence.  
  
Breaking off the shock Duo jumped up. "Cool, well we better go get ready. See you guys at 10."  
  
Wufei moaned, "Damnit fine let's go. See you there guys."  
  
Quatre looked to Trowa. "Well let's go get ready. Do you even have anything for a club?" he paused to ask.  
  
Leaning down to place a kiss on Quatre's cheek he whispered, "I'll have to meet you there ok?"  
  
"Oh, ok." Said the blonde as he was kissed on the cheek and then watched Trowa walk away. Blushing slightly the little Arabian shook his head and went to get ready.  
  
45 minutes later; Duo, Wufei, and Quatre were already at the club. Duo decked out in black leather pants, black boots, a short sleeve white button up shirt –top 4 buttons undone- and his hair done in a high pony tail. Quatre wore white pants, tan shoes and a royal blue button up shirt. And Wufei was in black slacks, a red tank, black boots and dark hair flowing around his shoulders.  
  
"Where's Tro'?" asked Duo as he looked around the club.   
  
"I don't know really, he said he'd have to meet us here." Quatre stated as the found a table to sit at.  
  
  
  
Relena's place.  
  
"So you're sure about this?"   
  
"Yes, Rel'. I mean I can't just forget about him but I also can't make a place for me in his heart when it already belongs to Duo. Being good friends is better than nothing. I would give my life for any four of those guys. And you, of course. All of you have taught me how to live even when you didn't know you were teaching." Heero said as he sat on the bench in her dressing room.  
  
From behind her dressing screen, she peeked out. "Yeah sure, I taught you how not to stalk someone." She laughed. "And how not to obsess over someone. Well are you sure they won't mind me showing up? This isn't supposed to be some guys night out thing is it?"  
  
"They won't mind I promise. If anything it will make them feel better." He sighed.  
  
"How so?" Relena asked stepping out from behind the screen.  
  
Leaning back looking towards the ceiling he answered. "Well they all seem to think that I'm hurt because my one-sided love is for you. You should see the pity looks I got thrown my way that day. I just walk away whenever that conversation comes up again. You know, I …" he stopped gasping at Relena, cobalt eyes bugging out of his head.  
  
Her blonde hair hanging down her back gave more coverage than her small black tube top did. With ultra low rise skin tight jeans that flared towards the bottom of the pants, with thick heeled sandals completed the outfit.   
  
"Is this ok?" becoming suddenly worried about her choice of clothing.  
  
"I'm going to end up in a fight tonight. I can tell." Heero said walking her towards the door.  
  
"Why?" she asked a twinkle in her eye said she already knew the answer.  
  
"You're like a sister to me Rel', you know?" she nodded her head. "Well let's just say I don't want little sis getting stolen out from under my nose."  
  
"Get over it, any way like I'm going to have an easy time keeping the girls off of you with you going out looking like a wet dream." He blushed and ducked his head. His hair was jelled and pushed back out of his eyes, a black form fitted shirt – with a shirt matching his eye color unbuttoned over the tee shirt- showing off delicious muscles, tight black jeans and boots finished it off.  
  
"Well it's 20 till 10 we're going to be late if we don't hurry." Heero said helping her into the limo. He stopped at the odd look he was giving her.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm just glad you can finally be yourself and open up." She said smiling softly.  
  
He smiled back. "Me too, Rel', me too.Well let's go."  
  
  
  
At the club.  
  
Duo's eyes widened for a moment then he looked to Quatre. "There's a major hottie over there Quat, you gotta see this."  
  
"I'm watching for Trowa. I don't want to miss him come in and then him having to spend forever trying to find us." Quatre said brushing off what Duo was saying.  
  
"Alright but this guy's got legs for days clad in painted on leather, combat boots, a green mesh shirt showing off pecks from hell and green eyes, well the one you can see…" Getting Quatre's attention on that note the blonde turned around and looked in the direction Duo was and his jaw hit the floor.  
  
Trowa stepped up, put one finger delicately under Quatre's chin and closed his mouth. Leaning down he pressed a light kiss on soft lips. Looking up to every one at the table, "Hi everyone, Heero not here yet?"  
  
"No I don't think …" he was cut off as Heero and Relena walked up.  
  
"Hey guys." Relena said shyly.  
  
"Hey Relena. Looking good babe." Duo said.  
  
"Why thank you Duo."   
  
"Duo back off my date. Come on let's go dance." He said pulling here off to the dance floor.  
  
The rest just watched the pair dance off. "See what I mean Duo. He doesn't need our help. They seem to have worked things out." Wufei said. "Wow when did Heero learn how to dance?"   
  
All eyes turned to the direction of the pair, Relena's back plastered to Heeros chest and the grinded against each other to the beat.   
  
"I don't know 'Fei maybe you should ask for lessons." Duo snickered then took off towards the dance floor being followed by his very put out lover. "Aw come on 'Fei I'll show you how to move."  
  
As they were all sitting down for a break from dancing Duo decided a change of plans was needed. "Hey guys I got a great idea." Hearing groans coming from everyone he hurried up with his "great" idea. "Let's go to the karaoke club. It's just right down the street. Come on it'll be fun."   
  
Finally getting everyone to agree they made their way to the club. "Alright who all wants to sing?" No one raised their hand on that vote. "Oh come on guys, it'll be fun. We could sing in groups."  
  
Relena looked to Heero and winked at him. He rolled his eyes then nodded as she went through the song book. "Heero and I will sing together." she announced as she wrote a song down.  
  
"Can the rest of us just sing together?" Quatre asked way to nervous to get up there.   
  
"That's fine. What do you want to sing guys?" Duo asked as they moved up to look over the song list. Finally settling on 'If I had a million dollars' by Barenaked ladies they sat down and waited listing to song after song being massacred.   
  
When Heero and Relenas song came up they got up and went to the stage.  
  
"You sure you don't mind doing this Heero. I know you're only use to doing this when we're alone."  
  
"No I don't mind. Besides it'll be fun shocking the hell out of them right?" he smiled and picked up the mic. "Ready?" he winked.  
  
"Always." She said as the music started.  
  
The others sat at the table having no idea what was in store for them. When the music started they were a little bit surprised at the choice in song. It was an old song by Elton John. Relena began the first verse of the song, her smooth alto voice carrying throughout the building.  
  
There was a time I was everything and nothing all at once  
  
And when you found me, I was feeling like a cloud across the sun  
  
She looked to Heero smiling.   
  
I need to tell ya how you light up every second of the day  
  
But in the moonlight you just shine like the beacon of the bay  
  
And I can't explain but there something about the way you look tonight  
  
Takes my breathe away, it's that feeling I get about you deep inside  
  
And I can't describe but there's something about the way you look tonight  
  
Takes my breathe away, the way you look tonight  
  
The group at the table was even more surprised when Heero started the second verse. Never had they imagined that the Wing pilot had a voice that amazing.   
  
With that smile you pull the deepest secrets from my heart  
  
In all honesty I'm speechless and I don't know where to start  
  
And I can't explain but there's something about he way you look tonight  
  
Takes my breath away, it's that feeling I get about you deep inside  
  
And I can't describe but there's something about the way you look tonight  
  
Takes my breath away, the way you look tonight  
  
Relena joined in again as they finished up the song echoing the parts back and forth.  
  
The way you look tonight, the way you look tonight   
  
The way you look tonight, the way you look tonight  
  
As the music ended, Heero and Relena set the microphones down and walked back to the table. Looking at each other as if in some inside joke, as they sat down at the table they realized the whole table was silent. Actually it was at that point they realized the whole club was. Looking around they blushed and then smiled at each other again and shrugged it off. Then the applause filled the room and that seemed to break everyone of their silence.   
  
Duo was the first to have his say. "Ok guys since when have you two been able to sing like that. And why did none of us know about it." The others all curious as well about the well kept secret.  
  
"Duo, babe there are some things about me you will never know." Duo's jaw dropped to the floor. As did the other 3 jaws around the table aside from Relena the others were in a state of shock about what Heero just said.  
  
"Did… did he just call me babe…I … is the world coming to an end?" he asked looking around as if searching for inevitable disaster. Especially when the blue eyed teen decided not to answer but to just wink at him. About to being another bout of stuttering Relena spoke up before the babbling could get any worse and nothing but questions were heard.  
  
"Ignore him Duo, he always gets cocky when he feels it was a good performance." She said giving Heero a pointed glare that said 'be nice'.  
  
"Yes mommy." He said turning to the guys at the table. "Yeah we sing together a lot. Call it a stress reliever or whatever you want. It just seems to give me almost a natural high I guess you could say." He said suddenly nervous ducking his head down and drinking his soda.  
  
Wufei choose that moment to join in the conversation. "Well Duo, as much as it pains me to tell you this, we just missed our turn." He said not the least bit pained. Especially after the performance he just heard. "That really was amazing you two. Why haven't you ever said anything before?" he asked.   
  
Heero studied his glass while he answered. "Well it's not like being able to sing has any place in war and afterwards it's not like it really came up. I think the only reason Rel' found out I could sing is because…" he stopped and realized how bad this would sound and how misleading it would be. 'oh well' "one of the times I was staying at her place I thought that everyone was out of the house when I was taking my shower." He started laughing. "I thought I would die. Here I am thinking there's no one around, singing my ass off. I had gotten dressed come out of the bathroom done whole morning routine singing the whole way through to find her sitting on the bed." He looked up to her and saw the tears in her eyes. He smiled brightly at her as if to say it was ok. She pushed back her tears and brought on her smile knowing exactly what he was doing. But decided to let it go for now.   
  
  
  
Flashback.  
  
  
  
A.C. 196 July  
  
"Heero, what are you doing here?" Relena questioned as she let a very distraught Yuy into her house.   
  
"I just need somewhere to get away to for a while. Is it cool if I stay in a spare room?" his blue eyes shining with unshed tears.   
  
"Sure, I'll be leaving early in the morning and none of the staff will be in tomorrow so just make yourself comfortable. I shouldn't be gone past noon if you want to talk about anything ok?" she said as she lead him to a room and got him settled for the night.   
  
The next morning he woke up and went to get his shower. 'For once I'm alone. I don't have to worry about them seeing.' Starting the water for his shower he started singing.   
  
  
  
"I lost all faith in my God,  
  
In his religion too  
  
I told the angels  
  
They could sing their songs to someone new,"  
  
  
  
As he stepped into the shower, he didn't know that Relena had come by to ask him what he would like for breakfast but had gotten stopped by the sound of his amazing tenor and the sound of sorrow she heard in it. So she sat and listened tears coming down her face as she listened to the words.  
  
  
  
"I lost all trust in my friends,  
  
I watched my heart turn to stone  
  
I thought I was left to walk this wicked world alone.  
  
  
  
"Tonight I'll dust myself off,  
  
Tonight I'll suck my gut in  
  
I'll face the night and I'll pretend  
  
I got something to believe in."  
  
  
  
He took a deep shuttered breathe and continued to sing as he dried himself off from the shower and got dressed.  
  
  
  
"And I had lost touch with reason  
  
I watched life criticize the truth  
  
Been waiting for a miracle   
  
I know you have too  
  
  
  
"Though I know I won't win  
  
I'll take this one on the chin  
  
We'll raise a toast and I'll pretend  
  
I got something to believe in."  
  
  
  
Walking into the room, he was about to sing more when he noticed Relena sitting on the bench in the spare room silently crying. Rushing to her side he pulled her into an embrace. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.  
  
She looked at him as if confused for a moment. "I was going to get you some breakfast before I left and I came to ask what you wanted. Then I got stopped by, what I believe to be, one of the most beautiful tenor voices I've ever heard." She looked into his eyes and continued. "But it also must be the most pain-filled I've ever heard in my life. What's wrong?"   
  
He looked away and sighed. "I just got myself stuck in a stupid situation. That I can't seem to get myself out of no matter how hard I try." He got up and walked away as he continued, "I've fallen in love with someone and they are already with someone else. No matter how hard I try I can't make myself not love him.." he said softly then looked back at her quickly. Worry in his face afraid she would be disgusted with what he just said.   
  
She looked at him for a minute, not judging just trying to gauge him. "Heero I won't condemn for a choice of love. Find it where you can, I'm just worried for you. May I ask who?"   
  
He looked to her, small smile on his face, "Wufei." He whispered.  
  
"Ooh, definitely I fine specimen. Who is he with?" she asked softly.  
  
"Duo… They really are perfect for each other. But I still find myself wanting him. I just can't make myself stop." He raked his hand through his unruly hair.  
  
"I think we can't really control who we love. Love is like that. It can bring you great joy or immense sorrow. I believe in this case you just have to choose how you will show that love." She said rubbing his back.  
  
Looking up at the tone in her voice he saw it in her eyes, "Who?" he asked.  
  
"Don't you dare Heero, we're not talking about me, we're talking about you. I've come to terms with mine. Now I'm trying to help you come to terms with yours." Seeing the look in his eye that he wouldn't give up, she finally gave in. "He's just this guy at work. In the building I'm in. But he's with someone so I know it wouldn't work. But I can still look right?" she said with a giggle.  
  
When Heero joined in she about fell over laughing. "Yeah just because he's with Duo hasn't really stopped me from watching him do his morning exercises. Talk about a man with a tight ass." He left out a breath heavily. "Thanks Relena."  
  
"For what?" she said laughter dying down.  
  
"For making me laugh, for giving me someone to talk to about this. I've felt so alone." He said leaning on her shoulder.  
  
"Anytime hon, anytime."   
  
  
  
End flashback.  
  
  
  
"Thanks for dropping me off." Heero said getting out of the limo.  
  
"No problem, you sure you don't want to come over?" Quatre called leaning over Relena.  
  
"No I'm tired. Go have fun you guys." He said with a smile on his face.  
  
"See you Monday." Duo called before the car pulled away.  
  
The smile on his face faded as he watched them leave. "Another night alone." Sighing he went up to his apartment, hating the three flights of stairs after a night of dancing. Opening the door he walked into the empty living room. Well empty, aside from the couch and the little tv. One lone picture in the room, it was a snap shot of Wufei and Duo holding each other looking so happy. That was taken right after they told everyone they were together. 'I am happy for them.' He thought looking at the picture. 'Why can't I just get over this?' leaning his head on the wall he closed his eyes trying to block the tears of their passage way out. But to no avail they came down his cheeks anyway. Walking away from the wall he turned on the tv and turned back to go to the couch eyes falling on the picture he stopped again. "What can I do? How do I make my heart not love? How do I make my heart stop hurting?" desperation clung in his rapidly raising voice. "Please tell me! Please tell me how, not to love you! How to not want you with me!" his voice raising in anger and pain. "How not to care! Tell me damn you!" he screamed throwing his fist into the frame. Shattering the glass all over and digging deep into his skin.  
  
Starring at the cuts in his hand, he picked up a shard of glass. 'Physical pain is so much easier to deal with than emotional pain.' He thought as he ran the glass over his upper arm. Watching the blood flow down his arm he didn't even notice the tears flowing down his face. In some way he began to feel better. Starting a process of purging himself of his pain, that would become his new lifeline. Picking up the picture out of the glass, trembling fingers reached up, then jerked away. "Night guys." He said as he stood up, shaky legs barely made it to his bed as emotional exhaustion sent him into a deep sleep.  
  
  
  
Quatres estate.  
  
"Well Heero seemed to have a really great time tonight. I'm glad he's feeling better." Duo said after Relena dropped them off.  
  
"Yeah. I was really worried about him." Quatre said leading the way into the house. "Well every body up for a movie?" all agreed and the party was moved to the living room where they ended up spending the night.  
  
tbc… 


	5. Ch 4

Ch 4.   
  
A.C. 197 November  
  
  
  
"Hey Heero." Duo said stepping inside Heeros office at work.  
  
"Hi Duo. What's up?" still looking down at his paperwork.  
  
"Well have you made any plans for this weekend?" Duo asked nervously.  
  
Heero just looked up at him smiling knowing exactly what this was about. "I know Duo, and yes I will come baby sit you while Wufei is away." He said smirking. Since joining the preventers whenever the Chinese teen was away on a mission Duo always asked Heero to come over. "I don't like being home alone in that big house." And of course the puppy dog eyes did Heero in and he agreed so every time afterwards Heero went over to keep the braided boy 'out of trouble'.   
  
"Great, thanks man. Hey you want to come over for dinner tonight?" Duo asked stopping by the door.  
  
Looking up Heero got a worried look on his face. "Who's cooking?" he asked trying to keep a smirk off his face.  
  
"Wufei." Duo said.  
  
Smiling, as if in relief, he then looked back down to his paperwork before answering. "Sounds safe then, what time should I be there?"  
  
"Cold, Heero, really cold." Duo said shivering slightly for effect. "How about 6:30? Is that good for you?"   
  
"Yes, that'll work. I have to run home and change first." He said noticing that it was already 5:30.  
  
"I was wondering if you would notice it was 30 minutes passes quitting time." Eyes full of laughter, Duo turned to go. "See you at the house."   
  
Heero still looking at the clock shook his head. 'I didn't even notice it was passed lunch time.' Packing up his papers he headed out.  
  
Duo walked towards his desk to grab his stuff. 'Something just seems off with him lately.' He stood there lost in his thoughts until a hand was set on his shoulder. Jumping he turned around. "Shit, Wufei, do ya have to give me a heart attack?" he said partially joking. Partially.  
  
"What's wrong? You were pretty spaced out. I called your name 3 times."  
  
"Do you think… oh never mind. Let's go or Heero will beat us to the house."  
  
"So he said yes?" he said as they left the office. They had discussed the fact that the former Wing pilot seemed a little secluded lately.  
  
"Yeah so let's get moving."  
  
  
  
"Why did I say yes? This hasn't really been a good day." Sitting on his bed Heero pulled his knees up to his chest. Getting out a razor blade he began the purging process. His upper right arm almost completely covered he looked up to the clock, realizing he only had 15 minutes to get to the house. 'Shit.' Getting dressed he called Duo to let him know he'd be a few minutes late and then headed out the door.  
  
  
  
"Heero, hey come in." Duo said pulling him into the house. "Dinner is all ready so let's go grub."  
  
Walking into the kitchen, Heero couldn't help but smirk at the mess all over the kitchen and Wufei. "Let me guess, Duo decided he wanted to help again?" he laughed.  
  
The very annoyed Chinese teen turned to look at him and just nodded his head. "But I managed to salvage the food so let me just get changed really quick. Go ahead and sit." He left mumbling something along the lines of 'damned instant pudding'.   
  
Once all were seated at the table, Heero commented on how much food Wufei had prepared.  
  
"Well, you know how much Duo eats. And besides you look like you haven't had time to eat lately." Wufei said hoping he didn't step across the line.  
  
"Look who I work with. I don't have time for lunch I'm too busy keeping the 'God of Death' from scaring off all the rookies. Plus I have to come in early to explain to Une just why she should not fire Maxwell because his good works out weight the prank jokes and whatnot. By the time I get home at night I pass out from exhaustion." Heero tried to glare but the look just wouldn't work.  
  
"Aw, come on soldier boy you know you don't mind." Duo said slapping Heeros arm.   
  
Wufei swore he could see a slight look of pain cross the blue eyes but shook his head thinking he must be imagining things. "So you coming over to baby sit this weekend?" he asked.  
  
"I guess so." The conversation carried on for a while after the food was gone then Heero said his goodnights and left for home.  
  
  
  
Heero walked up to Duo's house after work on Friday night knowing he was in for an insanely long weekend. But it was always fun. (Even though he hated to admit it) Knocking on the door he was surprised when he didn't get an answer. Walking around to the back of the house he saw Duo out working out. 'Must be training with Wufei.' Watching him go through a couple of sets he was surprised at how well Duo was with the motions. 'God he looks good doing that.' Blinking rapidly he looked away. 'Where the hell did that thought come from.' Shaking his head he turned around and waited for Duo to get done.   
  
Duo had not thought much about the time since he had come out and when he was closing down to the end of the set when he realized that Heero was there. Just sitting there waiting. Once he had finished the set he picked up his towel and walked towards the house. "Hey man. Sorry guess I lost track of the time." He said draping the towel over his shoulder.   
  
"It's ok. I haven't been waiting very long." Heero said getting up and following Duo into the house. "I'll get started on dinner while you're in the shower."   
  
"Thanks man. I'll be back down in about 30 minutes." He said heading upstairs.  
  
Heero watched him for a few minutes. Then turned towards the kitchen.   
  
Later that evening, they sat watching movies and the usual card game of rummy going on. Heero winning, as usual. "I just don't see how you do it." Duo said throwing his cards down. The smug look in those blue eyes across the table from him made him pout. "If I didn't know you I would say you were cheating. But I know you too well for that." He stood up. "Want some popcorn or something while I'm in the kitchen?" he asked.  
  
"A soda would be nice." Heero said smiling up at Duo while he was dealing the cards.  
  
"Ok be back in a few." Duo said as he left the room. Once in the kitchen, he grabbed some chips and a couple of sodas. 'Man he really has changed.' He thought, shaking his head and heading back to the living room.  
  
The weekend went on in that fashion, just hanging out like usual. Heero had become a constant in Duo and Wufei's life. He just seemed to always be there whenever they need him and he opened up so much since the end of the war hardly anyone could believe this was the same Heero Yuy.   
  
Wufei got back earlier than expected on Sunday night. Duo jumped in his arms kissing him passionately. Heero walked in on this scene and decided it was time to go. "Hey Wufei. Well guys I'm going to head home. I'll see you at work tomorrow." He said after he had got his duffle bag and was heading to the door.  
  
"Ok Heero. Thanks for babysitting for me." Wufei said smiling at the Japanese teen.  
  
Returning the smile he nodded his head. "No problem. I always enjoy torturing him in cards." Then he left.  
  
"I missed you so much." Wufei said grabbing Duo into another embrace.   
  
"Me too."   
  
  
  
The drive home seemed to take forever for Heero. 'Every time.' He sighed. Finally turning into his apartment complex he sat for a minute trying to compose himself. Once he felt secure he headed up to his empty home. Leaning on the door to his bedroom he looked around the small apartment. Feeling himself losing control he found his razor and tried to transfer the pain. Tears came to his eyes and he didn't bother trying to rid his face its wetness. 'I feel like I'm losing who am I.' he laughed through his tears softly. 'I don't think I ever knew who I was to begin with.' He was startled out of his routine and thoughts by a knock on the door. Scrambling to get everything put back in order he called out saying he'd be there in a minute and checked his appearance, 'Damn, no way to get rid of the evidence of crying.' He tried cleaning his face off. 'Fuck it.'   
  
Looking through the peep hole he saw Relena on the other side and let out his breath in relief. Opening the door he smiled. "Hey what's up?"   
  
Seeing his tear stained face she lost her smile and a look of concern crossed her eyes. "What's wrong?"  
  
He just shook his head. "Same as always, come on in." he moved back to let her in and she through her arms around him trying to comfort him. She hit his arm and he slightly winced.   
  
"What's wrong with your arm?" she asked then tried to look at it.  
  
He jerked back. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."  
  
She was about to say ok but then she saw blood coming through his sleeve. "Bullshit Heero. Cut the crap. Let me see." Blue eyes flashed as she lifted up his sleeve and saw the blood and cuts covering his arm. "Oh my God. What happened?" seeing his down turned eyes she saw the wound for what it was. "I just want to ask one thing." he looked up slightly and nodded his head. "What is the purpose of this?" she asked a look of compassion on her face.  
  
Looking back down Heero answered. "Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain." Looking up he saw she was very upset. 'Well of course she is.' "It's not like I'm trying to kill myself Rel' I wouldn't do that. It's just the only way I know to deal with this." His eyes pleading for her to understand.  
  
Nodding her head she led him into the kitchen. "Heero I understand that. I won't tell you to stop. I won't yell at you. But just be careful. I won't tell any one." She saw him relax a little on that. "Just know that I will be here to talk to and to help clean you up when you're done, whenever you need me." Spoken as she was wiping his arm off with a wash cloth. "However if this gets bad and you hurt yourself seriously I will have to tell the others." He looked up quickly shaking his head. Holding up her hand she cut him off. "I'm serious Heero. So just make sure you don't do anything like that. Ok?" she said as she finished wrapping up his arm. Then lifting his chin to look into his eyes she was holding back her tears the whole time but could no longer. They crept out and slid down her cheeks. "You are too important Heero. You are my best friend."   
  
He reached up and brushed her tears away. "I'm not important. But I do promise to be careful."   
  
Relena looked at him for a few minutes, then nodding her head she stood up and pulled him towards the living room. "Good because I don't want to have to kick you're ass." She said smiling.  
  
Grinning back, he paused for a minute then frowned, "Was there something that you wanted. I know you didn't come over here just to discuss my problem."  
  
She ducked her head a blush spreading across her cheeks. "Well we don't have to talk about that now. It's not important."  
  
"What is it? Come on. Tell me." He pried.  
  
"Well I met someone." She said almost guiltily.   
  
"Relena," he just about yelled. "I don't believe that you would feel ashamed to tell me." He softened his voice and continued. "Look just because I'm having love problems, doesn't mean I don't want to hear about you finding someone. Besides, it gives me hope that maybe someday I'll have that." He said then began to smile. "So who is he?"   
  
"His name is Daniel. He's tall, dark and handsome. We're going out this Friday." She said as giddy as a girl could be.   
  
"Well big brother has to approve first." Heero said not really trying to hide his smirk. "I'm happy for you." He said with a genuine smile.   
  
"Thank you." she hesitated for a moment.  
  
"What?"   
  
"Well, I was just wondering if you wanted me to stay here with you tonight. If you didn't want to be alone." She asked.  
  
"No that's ok. I'm feeling better now. Well it's getting late and I better get to bed." He said standing up and leading her to the door. "In case I don't see you before your date this weekend, you have a good time. Ok?"   
  
"Yeah, I'll see you later Heero. Love you." she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek and heading down the hallway.  
  
"Love you too Relena." He called after her before he shut the door. Leaning against the door the tears started fresh and he slid down it to the floor.   
  
  
  
  
  
Duo was standing in the shower trying to work through his own crazed thoughts. 'How could I do this? I love Wufei so much. But,' Blue eyes flashed in his mind. 'I just can't seem to forget about him. I want him around so much. And I know he's hurting but he won't tell me what's going on.' Leaning against the shower wall, he just couldn't figure out how to solve this problem.  
  
"Duo, are you almost done in there? Dinner's ready." Wufei called.  
  
"Yeah, coming."   
  
  
  
  
  
A.C. 197 December  
  
  
  
The phone ringing woke Duo up way too early on a Saturday morning. "Someone better be dead." Duo said grumpily into the phone.   
  
"Hey Duo, sorry did I wake you?" Quatre asked.  
  
Looking at the clock, Duo sighed. "Well Quatre its 7 am on a Saturday. What do you think?"   
  
"Oh, yeah, sorry about that, I didn't realize how early it was."   
  
"Its ok." He said crawling out of bed, trying not to disturb Wufei. "What did you want?" he asked as he headed into the living room to sit down on the couch.  
  
"Well you just hadn't told me for sure yet whether or not you two are coming to my Christmas party on the 24th. So I just wanted to make sure you were coming. Heero called me this morning to tell me he was, so I thought I'd go ahead and check with you. I really am sorry about the time."   
  
"It's ok man. Yeah, we'll be there. It starts at 6, right?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Ok. So what's going on aside from that."  
  
"Oh, nothing much." Quatre said cheerfully into the phone. "I guess I should get going. I don't want to take up anymore of your time. Bye."   
  
"Alright. Talk to you later." Getting up he headed back to bed and curled up next to Wufei.  
  
"Who was that?" the sleepy Chinese man asked.  
  
"It was Quatre calling to make sure we were going to be at his Christmas party."  
  
"That's three weeks away. He sure is on the ball this year." He said pulling Duo closer to his chest.  
  
"I'm not, I still have to go and do all of my shopping."   
  
"That's not really surprising. Do you want to go out today?" he asked running the chestnut braid through his fingers.   
  
Turning to face his lover, Duo pushed himself up onto his elbow. "Well, I already asked Heero to go with me because I can't buy your present if you are there." He said leaning in and planting a little kiss on Wufei's lips.  
  
Wufei smiled softly and nodded his head. "Ok. When are you two going out?" naturally all of his Christmas shopping was done, not one to be known for procrastination.   
  
"Around noon he's going to come over and we'll head out."  
  
"Ok. Well then that's plenty of time." Dark eyes shined.   
  
"Time? Oh, sounds good to me." Duo said leaning into Wufei and kissing him passionately.  
  
"Hey Heero, come on in. I just have to go and find my shoes." Duo said after answering the door and going on a mad search for his shoes.   
  
Wufei watched him run off and shook his head. "So how has everything been?" Wufei asked as they sat in the living room.   
  
"It's been good. I can't really say my life is exactly as exciting as everyone else's but it's nice and calm. I guess I like it that way."   
  
Wufei couldn't help but see the wistful look in Heero's eyes. 'I wonder if he has the slightest clue as to how easy it is to read him.'   
  
Just then Duo came bouncing into the room. "Alright let's get to the mall. Bye 'Fei. I love you. See you in a bit."   
  
"Hey Heero, have you eaten lunch yet?" Duo asked as they walked into the food court at the entrance of the mall.   
  
"No I haven't."  
  
"Alright we'll let's stop and get something now. I need my energy to get this shopping done." They decided on some pizza and sat down to eat.   
  
Duo kept looking like he was on the verge of saying something for the past 15 minutes, so Heero finally broke the silence. "What is it Duo?" he asked.   
  
"Well I was just wondering how you were really doing. On the outside you seem to be doing so well. And everyone believes it. You seem happy and content. But, Heero, I've seen that mask before, I use to wear it. And I just can't help but wonder if there is anything I can do to help. We're good friends, right? You can tell me anything."   
  
Heero was slightly surprised by this speech coming from Duo and shook his head a little. 'He really is amazing. Those two really do belong together.' "Don't worry about me, Duo. I'll be fine. I guess it's just a little of the holiday blues or something."  
  
'Right. He still hides from me. I guess he always will. But if that's the way he wants to go then I'll just go along with it.' His mind made up Duo spoke up. "Well we can't have any of that. I guess you'll just have to come over to the house more and you will have to spend a lot of time with your friends. Got it? I won't take no for an answer. In fact you can come over for dinner tonight." Duo said.   
  
Heero looked shocked for a moment at the out burst and then smiled. "That sounds good to me." He said. When violet eyes shone at him in happiness his heart flipped. 'He really is beautiful.'  
  
Watching Duo bounce from store to store, buying presents and laughing. Heero couldn't help but have a great time. He got most of his done also.   
  
  
  
Heero found himself constantly surrounded by Duo and Wufei after this. The holiday season was anything but quiet and peaceful, but he loved every second he got to spend with them. But in the same way he loved it, it almost broke him. He almost longed for the utter chaos of the season to be over.   
  
When then night of Quatre's party hit it signalized that the year was almost over. 'Only a few more days left.' He thought. Standing on the balcony at the party, he finally found himself having a second of peace. 'Maybe next year will be different. Maybe next year I can…' Leaning on the railing, he looked up to the stars.   
  
"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Wufei said walking out to stand near Heero.  
  
"Yeah, it is." He said not look towards the other man.   
  
"I know it's been insane lately. Duo's a complete nut when it comes to holidays, you know."   
  
Laughing slightly, Heero spared a look at Wufei. The other was looking up at the sky, his hair framing his face. He left it down a lot now-a-days. "I really don't mind." Heero said turning to head back inside. Fearing that staying outside with Wufei like this could lead him to say something he'd regret. "Come on, let's go back inside the others are going to be wondering where we went to." he said heading towards the door.   
  
"Alright." He said giving Heero a hug. "Merry Christmas, Heero." then he walked in.   
  
Heero's heart jumped into his throat. "Merry Christmas…"   
  
tbc… 


	6. Ch 5

Ch. 5  
  
  
  
  
  
A.C. 198 January  
  
  
  
Pacing around the bedroom, Heero tried to work his way through the thoughts in his head. Hearing a throat clearing, he looked towards the bed. Relena sat there just watching him with curious eyes. "So what did you want to ask me Heero." She said.  
  
"Well I was just wondering." He paused embarrassed to say what he was feeling. "I was just wondering… do you think it's possible to be in love with two people at the same time?" he questioned.  
  
Eyes widening she leaned forward a little. "I do believe it's possible. Who?" she was a little afraid of his answer but knew in her heart what it would be, 'please no. you've suffered enough.'  
  
Sighing he sat down next to her and then threw himself back on the bed. "Duo." He whispered.   
  
"I was afraid of that." She said lying back next to him.   
  
He sat up shocked. "You could tell." He was getting worried now. 'What if they can tell?'  
  
"Don't worry Heero. I just know these things. I know you too well." She said.  
  
"Yeah I guess you do. Oh yeah, how's Daniel?" he asked sincerely happy for his best friend.  
  
"Great. He asked about you the other day. You know you really scared the shit out of him!" she laughed.   
  
  
  
Flashback  
  
  
  
"Hey Relena." Heero said as he walked into Relena's house.  
  
"Hi Heero. This is Daniel." She said nodding to the tall man to her side. He was 6'4", well built, had a dark tan, and light green eyes that his light brown hair fell slightly in front of. Even though he was much taller than the other man, Heero somehow managed to look down at him.  
  
"Hi Daniel." He said nodding.  
  
"Hi." The man seemed shy, almost as if he was afraid of the Japanese man. "It's really nice to meet you. Relena talks about you all the time."  
  
"It's nice to finally meet you as well. And she is just like a sister to me. I hope you realize that if anyone were to hurt her in anyway I would not be happy about it. And the situation would be handled accordingly."   
  
Daniel looked to the shorter man and nodded. "I would expect nothing less." He said extending his hand.  
  
"Yes, shake hands like gentleman and get over this battle of the balls, ok?" Relena said shaking her head.  
  
End flashback  
  
  
  
"Damn straight. No body's going to hurt my sis." He said seriously. "Oh yeah, the guys are going out this weekend. Do you and Daniel want to come along too? We're going out to Seville's."  
  
"That sounds great. I'll ask him." she said standing up. "Well I better get going. I have to get back to that meeting. These pig headed people just don't understand anything. I'm about to rip my hair out…and theirs. At least I would but most of them don't have much."   
  
"Yeah I guess I better get ready for tonight." Seeing her confusion he filled her in. "I have a mission that heads out tonight. So I have to pick up Duo in about two hours. We should be back in couple of days."  
  
"Ok. Well you be careful." She said hugging him.  
  
Smiling, he returned the hug. "I will be."  
  
  
  
The mission was simple, stopping a minor rebel group that was formed mainly by amateurs. "Duo, data collected." Heero said over the comm link.   
  
"Ok, everything is taken care of on my end. I'll be at the meeting point in 5."   
  
"Roger. Charges ready?"   
  
"Yep."  
  
Once they met up together, Duo hit the button and the building went up in explosion. A piece of shrapnel his Duo in his leg sending him to the ground. "Shit!" the violet eyed teen screamed as he fell.   
  
Heero turned and saw him down and ran back. "What happened?" he asked looking over the damaged leg.  
  
"I guess I wasn't far enough away." Came the sarcastic response.  
  
"Hn. Can you walk?" he asked keeping his worry out of his voice and off his face.   
  
"Yeah." He said getting to his feet and limping towards the jeep. "It's deep but it's not near an artery. Let's just get back and then I can get patched up." He looked towards Heero smiling.  
  
"Idiot."  
  
"Thanks Heero, that's just what every injured person loves to hear." He slid down in the seat. "What's our eta?" he asked after a while.  
  
"We're only an hour out."   
  
"Cool, I can't wait to get back home." Duo looked over to Heero out of the corner of his eye. 'I wish I knew what he was thinking.' He sighed. 'I wish I knew what the hell I was thinking. How can I talk to 'Fei about this?' Closing his eyes he drifted a little until the house came into view.   
  
Once they were parked in the drive way, Wufei came running out of the house to greet the two. When he saw Duo struggling a little to get out of the jeep he ran up to him. "What's wrong?" he asked dark eyes worried.  
  
Looking up he smiled slightly. "It's better than it looks 'Fei. Let's just get in and get my leg sown up. Ok?"   
  
"Ok." Wufei said picking him and carrying him in. Duo didn't protest he was tired and his leg was throbbing. Turning towards Heero he said, "Do you have any injury's Heero?"   
  
"No I'm fine." He said getting back into the jeep.  
  
"Do you want to come in and get something to eat?" Wufei asked as he was heading to the door.  
  
"No, I've got to get this report done and then get some sleep." Starting the car up, he called out. "I'll tell Une that Duo won't be into work in the morning and explain that he needs tomorrow off. Do you want me to tell her the same for you?"  
  
"Yeah thanks Heero. See you later."  
  
"See ya." He said as he drove off.  
  
  
  
Friday night at their usual table at the club everyone had arrived aside from Relena and her new boyfriend.  
  
"Hey Heero, where's Relena. She always comes with you." Duo said over the loud music.  
  
"Well she's bringing someone tonight. So she's probably busy trying to make herself look perfect for him." he said with a shake of his head.   
  
Everyone paused and looked at him with concerned eyes. "What's wrong, guys?" he asked.  
  
"Well we all thought… umm that you and Relena were together." Duo said as the spokesman for the rest of the group.  
  
When Heero laughed, they just looked at him. "No, we've never actually dated. She's just like a sister to me."  
  
"Oh," came the response from the group.  
  
Seeing sad expressions on their faces he set his drink down and leaned forward. "Look guys it's not like we've ever been dating. We have different ideas for our ideal partners. Ok? Really it's alright." He said then saw Relena and her guy walk up. "Hey guys. How are you?"  
  
"Good." Relena said nodding to everyone at the table. "This is Daniel." Everyone looked to the tall man. Everyone could see what the ex-Queen of the world could see in the handsome man. Once everyone was introduced, Relena turned to Duo. "So I hear you won't be able to strut your stuff on the dance floor tonight."   
  
"Nope. I'll have to wait until my leg heals up just a little more. I don't want to tear it open again."  
  
"Well that's too bad. Are we going to karaoke again tonight?" She asked hopefully.  
  
All the guys looked around at each other and in silent agreement nodded to her.   
  
"Yeah, Daniel's never been to karaoke and we just have to get him up there. It would be great."  
  
Trowa joined the conversation at this point. "Yes well just make sure that you don't get stuck going after Relena and Heero get up there."  
  
"Oh, why is that." Daniel asked.  
  
"He speaks." Duo called out. "I was getting a little worried there buddy."   
  
"Yes I speak. It would be a little difficult to be a negotiations expert if I couldn't speak." He said with a laugh. "Now, why would I not want to go after their act?" He asked.  
  
Quartre decided to answer, "Well because they're so good that no one has ever been able to follow their act." Heero and Relena both blushed at the praise.  
  
"Well now this is something I have to see." Daniel said hugging his date.   
  
"And you shall." Duo said.   
  
After spending time at the club, they moved on to the karaoke bar. Only Relena and Heero decided to actually sing. After they came back and sat down after doing an amazing version of Piano Man together they were beaming.   
  
"Wow I didn't realize my little Queen could belt out a tune like that. All the more reason to keep you." he said kissing her cheek. "Really I am very impressed. And you two are perfect together. It's like you've been singing your whole lives together or something."   
  
Heero looked around at the table and saw Quartre leaning into Trowa, Relena looking at Daniel love in her eyes, and Wufei playing with Duo's braid. Suddenly a feeling of not belonging and loneliness hit him like a train. He stood up rather abruptly and picked up his jacket. "Well guys I think I'm going to call it a night." He said heading towards the door.   
  
Everyone at the table was shocked by the action. Relena jumped up. "I'll be right back guys." Chasing after Heero, she caught up to him right outside the door. "Heero, what happened? Why did you get up like that?" she turned him to her and looked at him.  
  
"I just need to go Rel'." blue eyes pleading for her to understand.   
  
She nodded. "Call me if you need me. No matter what time. Ok?"   
  
"Ok. Tell the guys I'm sorry." Then he turned and left.  
  
"Oh Heero." She whispered into the cold night air.  
  
  
  
"I wonder what that was about?" Duo looked to Wufei who seemed to be in deep thought.  
  
'He still looks so sad and alone. It hurts to see him that sad.' He looked to Duo and saw he felt the same way. "I just wish I knew what to do for him. You know?" Wufei said leaning onto Duo's shoulder.  
  
"Yeah 'Fei. I know." He whispered.   
  
  
  
After leaving the club, Heero walked around for a while trying to clear his head. When that didn't seem to work he finally just went home and did his usual purging of his pain. Cleaning off his razor and himself he finally crawled into bed. 'Will it ever end?' He sobbed into his pillow. 'Will the pain ever stop?' Finally restless sleep overtook him through his sobs.  
  
  
  
  
  
A.C. 198 March  
  
  
  
"Hey Heero we're having a cook out on Saturday, around noon." Wufei said to Heero Friday at work. "If you're not busy we'd like you to come."  
  
Heero looked up, "Everyone going to be there?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah."   
  
Smiling softly, "Sounds great. Do I need to bring anything?" he asked.  
  
"Just yourself." Wufei smiled back.  
  
"Ok. I'll be there." Heero said going back to his work.  
  
"Umm… Heero?" he said nervously.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Nothing." He said retreating. "See ya."  
  
Watching him leave, Heero sat back and closed his eyes. 'How much longer can I do this?' Rubbing his temples, he looked back at his work. 'I'm not going to get a damn thing done.' Standing up he gathered his stuff and headed towards Une's office.  
  
Knocking on the door, he stood waiting for a response. Hearing none he turned around to look for her. Then her door opened and he spun around. "Yes what can I do for you?" she asked.  
  
"Sorry I disturbed you. I was just going to let you know that I need to take the rest of the day off." He said.  
  
"That's fine. You need a break any way. You're running yourself into the ground. Take it easy ok?" with that she turned to go back into her office.  
  
Sighing, he left to head home.   
  
  
  
Wufei walked out of Heero's office and headed for his. Sitting down at his desk he picked up the picture he had sitting there of all five of them. Even in the picture Heero was standing off. As if he felt like he didn't belong. 'It hurts so much to see him seclude himself this way. What the hell am I doing? Oh Duo, for some reason I just can't get him off my mind. What should I do?'  
  
  
  
Saturday  
  
The barbeque was in full swing by the time Heero arrived. Wufei saw him and called him over to the grill.  
  
"Hey Wufei. Sorry I'm late." He said.  
  
"It's ok. The food's just about ready so you got here just in time." Looking at Heero, he realized that it was getting harder for the ex-Wing pilot to keep up his mask. 'He's breaking. And I want to hold him. I want to make things better for him.' startled by his thoughts he turned his full attention back to the grill.  
  
In the kitchen, Duo could see the two clearly. Seeing the look on Wufei's face brought many questions to mind. 'Is it possible that he feels the same?' was the main one. But the fear of talking about that subject kept him from saying anything. 'What if he thinks I don't love him anymore if I tell him? What if he thinks I'm a slut? But then again, doesn't loving two people at the same time make you that?' He growled in frustration. 'I just don't know.' "Umm Duo are you ok?"  
  
Duo turned and found Quartre standing behind him. A sad smile came to his face. "Yeah Quat, I'm ok." Looking back out the window he sighed and finished with the plate of toppings for the hamburgers and went outside.  
  
"Ok everyone foods up." The wide smile back on, Duo called everyone one over to eat.   
  
  
  
As the day moved on, the day began to get too cool to stay outside so the group moved indoors. Heero was distant for a good portion of the part, only talking when someone talked to him, and then left way before anyone else. Quatre noticed and asked Duo if he knew what was wrong.  
  
"I wish I did." The violet eyed teen said as he sat down at the kitchen table, pausing in his cleaning. "I mean we've gotten much closer over this past year. I thought our friendship was close enough that he felt he could talk to me. But he won't. I think its loneliness. I think that he feels like he doesn't belong." Duo stood back up and walked over to the sink. "But I think a lot of stupid things." Sighing he looked out the window.   
  
"I know what you mean. It seems like he could break any day now. I just wish I knew what kind of help he needed." The blonde said sadly.  
  
"Me too, Quat."   
  
  
  
Once everyone had gone and the cleaning was done, Wufei and Duo sat on the couch watching t.v. There was a tension in the air, as if something needed to be said but nothing would come out. 'I just don't know what to say.' Wufei pulled his love close to him and decided just to let it go for right now.   
  
  
  
Over the next few weeks, things began to change though. Heero seemed to drift from their group more and more. Only seeing him at work and rarely on any other occasion, even karaoke lost it's magic for the stoic Japanese man. He no longer went with them and they rarely went anymore.   
  
Wufei and Duo blamed themselves. Not knowing what to do for their friend. And not knowing how to approach their lover and tell them what they were feeling.   
  
Heero's mask was breaking. Sitting in his apartment on a hot day in June, he watched life pass him by. He never wore his tank tops anymore. No one really seemed to notice, though. Rubbing his arm lightly he looked down at the scars and fresh cuts. 'When did things get this bad? I can't even remember anymore.' It seemed endless. Relena still came by often but she had her life to live. And he wouldn't allow her to stop living for him. He knows she still worries about him and would come over a lot more and even put her love life on hold if he asked her. But he wouldn't ask that. He wouldn't allow that. Days just seem to melt into each other and life seemed to take on an unreal feel to it. Summer had reached its hottest days and would be coming to an end before he knew it.   
  
Life was about to take a drastic turn for all of them. They didn't know it yet. But things have a way of catching us unaware and before you know it, it has changed and quite possibly might never be the same.  
  
tbc…  
  
  
  
this part didn't really turn out the way i wanted but i hope you all like it any way. ^_^ 


	7. Ch 6

a/n: this a warning for Heero angst. Well let's just say a lot of angst in the chapter. Okie? Please don't kill me. Plus I just thought I'd mention I don't own the songs in here. But it's one of my favs by travis tritt called anymore. Have fun. Thanks for the reviews.   
  
  
  
  
  
Ch. 6  
  
  
  
A.C. 198 August  
  
  
  
"He hardly ever goes out anymore." Wufei said talking to Duo over dinner.  
  
Looking up he nodded slightly. There was no need to ask who his lover was talking about. Heero had started working more, if that was possible, and getting him to go out with the group any more was difficult to do, more like impossible. He had become a constant in their lives and his absence was painful.   
  
"Well let's try to get him to go out Saturday night with us. Maybe we should ask Relena to ask him. He seems to come out more when she's the one asking." Wufei said, more playing with his dinner than eating it.  
  
"Sounds like a good idea. Why don't we call her after dinner?" Duo said only playing with his food as well. Noticing that neither of them was eating anyway, he stood up and went to the phone. "Hey Relena, I was just wondering if you could try to convince Heero to come out with us this Saturday." He paused for a few minutes. Wufei sat there listening. "Yeah I know. Well, see what you can do and get back to me….. Yeah, thanks. Bye Relena." He sat back down at the table. "She said that she'd try."   
  
"You want to call it an early night." Wufei asked hopefully.  
  
"Yeah that sounds like a good idea."   
  
Getting ready for bed, both had the same thought on their minds. They were both still in love with each other. And both were in love with Heero. How do you explain this to your lover? 'I just don't know.' Was the answer going through both of their minds.  
  
  
  
When Saturday night came, Relena had somehow managed to convince Heero to come out with them, even though she couldn't come. The club was slow, so it was decided that they would just head for karaoke early. Duo also noticed that Heero was showing his depression right on his face and in his body language. 'This must have gotten very bad. Wait a minute.' He studied Heero closely and then came to a realization. 'He's drunk. Granted not flat out, fall down drunk. But he definitely has some alcohol in his system.' They had already picked out songs to sing. Duo, Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa got up to sing first.  
  
'Damn I don't think I should of had that many drinks before I came out here.' Heero thought to himself. 'Why the hell did I pick that damn song to sing.' He watched as the four ex-pilots sang a terrible rendition of Bon Jovi's Bad Medicine. 'God Jon would kill them if he heard them trash his song like that.' He sat there and listened to one terribly sung rock song after another. Then it came to his turn.   
  
"Heero, man, get up there." Duo said smiling.  
  
"Oh, yeah." He stood up going to the stage pulling a stool with him. Once there he sat and nodded for the music. Letting the music wash over him he began to sing. Truly sing from deep within his heart.  
  
  
  
"I can't hide the way I feel about you. Anymore  
  
I can't hold the hurt inside keep the pain out of my eyes. Anymore."  
  
  
  
Closing his eyes he poured his heart out.  
  
  
  
"My tears no longer waiting  
  
My resistance ain't that strong  
  
My mind keeps recreating a life with you alone  
  
And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you, Anymore."  
  
  
  
Tears were coming to his eyes but he pushed them down. The four at the table were visibly shaken by the pain in their friend's voice. Heero's velvet voice carrying throughout the bar was so beautiful and pain stricken that no one could move.  
  
  
  
"Let me make one last appeal  
  
To show you how I feel, about you  
  
Cause there's no one else I swear  
  
Hold's a candle anywhere, next to you."  
  
  
  
Heero opened his eyes and was looking upward, right hand on his heart.  
  
  
  
"My heart can't take the beating  
  
Not having you to hold  
  
A small voice keeps repeating   
  
Deep inside my soul  
  
It's says I can't keep pretending  
  
I don't love you anymore."  
  
  
  
He looked down trying to blink the tears away, but it didn't seem to be working.  
  
  
  
"I've got to take the chance  
  
Won't let it pass by  
  
If I expect to get on with my life."  
  
  
  
Looking up to his friends, 'Bad idea,' he thought. Belting out the words he continued even though he knew his heart was exposed, tears streaming down his face.  
  
  
  
"My tears no longer waiting  
  
Oh my resistance ain't that strong.  
  
But my mind keeps recreating a life with you alone  
  
And I'm tired of pretending I don't love you anymore."  
  
  
  
He caught Duo's eyes for a moment.  
  
  
  
"Anymore."  
  
  
  
Then looked to Wufei and finished the song.  
  
  
  
"Anymore."  
  
  
  
As the last note died out, the silence was deafening. Heero jerked back to reality. 'What in the hell am I doing.' He jumped up and ran out of the bar. 'Damn it.' he found a cab and went home.  
  
  
  
Back at the club the four sat at the table somewhat in a state of shock. Quatre looked to Trowa tears in his eyes. Not saying a word. The silence was broken by Wufei. "Mind if we call it a night guys?"   
  
"No that's understandable." Trowa said.   
  
  
  
  
  
'Damn it' Heero was sitting on his bed, head in his hands. Picking up his phone he called Relena. "Hey can you come over?" his voice broke. "Ok. Thanks."  
  
Picking up his razor he tore furiously through the skin on his upper arm. Realizing there was no room left on either of his upper arms, he moved to his thighs. There was a knock on his door, then it opened. "In here Rel'." he called. When Trowa walked into the room he flew off the bed, pulling on a baggy pair of sweat pant's over his torn flesh. "What are you doing here Trowa?" he whispered harshly.  
  
"You know Quatre, he was worried." Trowa said acting as if he didn't even notice Heero's quick dressing.  
  
"Well I'm fine. So get out." He growled at the taller teen.  
  
Trowa just looked at him for a minute.   
  
Trying to gather himself together Heeros jaw clenched. "Get out." He said pointing to the door, his body shaking uncontrollably.  
  
Suddenly the door opened and Relena came rushing in. She saw the scene and rushed to Heero's side. He practically threw himself into her arms, tears falling at full force once again. She looked up to Trowa, light blue eyes begging for him to go. He nodded and left.  
  
"Heero, hon, what happened?" she asking gently rubbing his back, soothing him like a child.   
  
"I … I … fucked up Rel'." he said chocking on his sobs. "I … let too much… I let them see… too much … what do I do? They… they'll all hate me." So broken, the mask is too broken to repair now. Relena hugged him tightly. "What happened?" she asked softly. After all was explained she took him into the bathroom to clean him up. Seeing the cuts on his arms, she gasped. "Oh God." Was all she could say as she got them cleaned the best she could. "Is that all?" she asked hoping it was. He shook his head and pealed the sweat pants off the drying blood on his legs, wincing at the pain. Tears were coming down her face by the time she was done. "Heero, this is pretty bad. You remember what I told you?" She said as she finished wrapping his legs. He was shaking too bad to do anything but sit there. "You should take some time off work. I don't think tomorrow will be enough time to recuperate from this." Relena said softly as she got him in bed.  
  
"No. I'll be fine. Thank you Relena." So emotionally exhausted he fell into a deep sleep.  
  
"Be careful Heero. I can't loose my best friend." She said as she got up after making sure he was asleep, then left for home.  
  
  
  
Monday at work Duo walked nervously up to Heero's desk. "Umm…. Heero?" Before he could get any more said, a call came for them to go to Une's office.  
  
Heero just stood up and pushed past Duo heading to Une's office. "Come on Duo."  
  
  
  
45 minutes later they were getting ready to leave for a mission. "Hey Heero I have to go tell Wufei that we're leaving. I'll be there in 10 minutes ready to go."  
  
"Got it." Heero said walking towards the jet.  
  
  
  
"Hey 'Fei, mission's come up, me and Heero are heading out now. We should be back by tomorrow morning. Ok?" he said leaning on Wufei's desk.  
  
"Alright, I'll see you when you get back." Smiling softly Wufei lifted Duo's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Be careful."  
  
"Chang, there's someone here to see you." one of the office agents said at the doorway.   
  
"Ok. Send them in. Bye Duo."  
  
Duo walked out the door passing right by Relena. "Hey, Relena, sorry I can't chat I'm in a rush."  
  
"That's ok. I understand." She said stepping into Wufei's office.  
  
"Hi Relena, please have a seat." Wufei gestured to a chair. "What can I do for you?" he became a little worried at the severe look on her face.   
  
"Thank you." she said sitting down. "This is very serous…" As she told the tale of the pain and the cutting, Wufei sat, tears coming to his eyes as he realized just how much he overlooked.  
  
"How did I not see?" he whispered.  
  
"Don't torture yourself. He didn't want you to know. And if he doesn't want you to see then you won't. But the barriers are breaking. The only reason I'm saying anything to you now is because things are starting to get out of control. And I think he's to the point where his life is in danger." She paused. "Please Wufei, help him." she pleaded.  
  
  
  
"Hey Heero lets go." Heero nodded to Duo as they headed towards the jet to take them close to their target. Two hours later they landed 45 minutes out from the base where they were to get hostages to safety and destroy the facility.   
  
"Getting into this place should be easy enough." Duo whispered seeing the poor security system.   
  
"Let's split up. Duo you take the left. I got right. Find anything, radio me." Agreeing they took off.  
  
Heero turned down a long hallway and found three guards posted in front of a door. 'I bet the hostages are in there.' Creeping around, all three guards were down before they knew what was happening. Opening the door, he found a small group of people huddled in the corner of the room. "Is this all of you?" he asked.  
  
"Yes." A man spoke for the group.  
  
"Alright," turning on his comm link he called to Duo. "I've found the hostages. Are the charges set?"  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Let's move out." Heero said turning to the small group.  
  
They met up with Duo and headed out. Once side by side Duo leaned closer to Heero. "Does this really seem like an intense situation to you?" he whispered.  
  
"No. I don't really see how these people are a threat. They're not very capable." Heero said as the exited the building.  
  
"Yeah, that's what I thought. Well let's blow this popsicle stand." Duo said as they headed towards the jet. Heero went ahead with the group of scared civilians. Turning back to see how Duo was coming along with the charges he saw men running out of the building with guns. Seeing the others safely being loaded into the jet he ran back just as the shots began to ring out.  
  
"Duo!" he yelled and pushed Duo out of the way as bullets tore through him, collapsing on top of the other teen.   
  
Pulling out the detonation device, Duo pressed the button. "Burn in hell," he yelled as the explosions went off right at the entrance where the gunners were standing. Seeing that they were all killed instantly, he moved slowly to move Heero over.  
  
"Status Heero!" he tried to keep calm.  
  
"Fucked." Came the reply.  
  
"Yuy, don't give me that shit." Turning him over he saw blood staining Heero's back. 'Oh God.' "Heero, why the hell did you do that?" he said as he put as much pressure on the open wound as possible. Grabbing the radio, he called to the agents in the jet for a stretcher to be brought.   
  
As two agents came on to the scene, Duo asked again. "Why?"  
  
Blue pain-filled eyes opened looking straight into violet. "Too important." Taking a deep breath he continued on. "You and Wufei deserve to live. You two have to be happy." A bloodied hand raised up to Duo's cheek. "How could I know it would happen this way?" A bittersweet smile on his face was replaced by a harsh cough, blood coming from his lips.  
  
"Hurry!" Duo yelled to the pilots as they got the jet going. "Heero, I don't know what you're trying to say." He said holding Heero's hand to the side of his face.  
  
Blue eyes closed. "Heero stay with me buddy. Come on man."   
  
Bloodied lips moved barely and whispered so softly Duo had to lean down to hear him. "Foolish. To let myself love not only one… but two… Two I can never have." His eyes opened slightly. "Take care of each other… too precious." With that said he passed out.   
  
Duo sat, stunned. "Oh my God! Can you not move this thing any faster?!"  
  
"We're about to land at the hospital, sir. They're waiting for us on the ground." The pilot yelled back.  
  
The ex-hostages sat soberly watching one of their rescuer's blood spread out over the floor of the jet.   
  
  
  
Wufei left work shortly after his meeting with Relena, telling Une he needed the next couple of days off. By the time he had finally gotten to sleep he was woken up shortly by a hysterical Duo, telling him to get to the hospital a.s.a.p.   
  
Wufei walked into the waiting room and saw Duo covered in blood. "What happened? Are you ok?" he said checking his lover over.   
  
"I'm fine. It's not my blood, its Heero's. He's in surgery." He leaned into Wufei, hugging him tightly.  
  
"Did you call the others?" Wufei asked.   
  
"Yeah they should be here soon." Sniffing he sat down. "It was terrible 'Fei."  
  
"How did the mission go so wrong?" he asked sitting down beside Duo.  
  
"It didn't really, until the end…" he updated Wufei on the mission. "The worst part was what he told me before he passed out." Tears streaming down his face. "He was saying how we had to be happy. How we were too precious to lose." Looking into dark eyes his voice broke. "He said that he loved us." His tears started to come and he didn't bother to push them back.  
  
"Relena told me a lot of what has been happening." Duo looked up to Wufei showing he was listening. "I guess they tell each other everything. Oh Duo, we just didn't see. Duo, I…" he was cut off by the doctor coming out and they jumped up. "What's happening?"  
  
"Hi I'm Dr. Hammond. Well he's out of surgery now. We were able to remove all the bullets. He's very lucky that most did not cause any lasting damage."  
  
"Most?" Duo and Wufei asked at the same time.   
  
"I'm afraid one was dangerously close to his spinal cord. We will have to watch him and see how the healing goes. However I must warn you that the time period of recover for this type of wound is long and hard. I'm not sure how long it will take for him to wake. I'm also concerned about the series of cuts on his arms and legs." The doctor paused to see if they knew what he was referring to. Seeing the look of pain cross Wufei's eyes he proceeded. "Do you know how long he has been doing this?"   
  
As Wufei nodded Duo's world seemed to start to slip. He turned worried eyes to his lover and listened as he told the doctor how long it had been going on, the details seemed to blur as the questions drug on. Finally the doctor finished his questions. "Well one of you may see him at a time right now. So if you'll follow me?" He said leading the way towards Heero's room.  
  
"You go first, Duo." Wufei said stepping aside.  
  
"Thanks 'Fei."   
  
  
  
While Wufei was waiting, Quatre and Trowa showed up. He was looking at the floor hunched over in his chair and didn't even notice the other two were there until there was a hand on his shoulder. Lifting his tear-stained eyes he looked into worried blue and green eyes.  
  
"It's really bad."  
  
Quatre nodded, they had talked to the doctor before coming to see Wufei. "But we must remember that he is very strong."  
  
Shaking his head Wufei's tears started fresh. "If you have the will to live. Duo said he was saying goodbye. He has to want to live."  
  
Duo came out then and told Wufei he was done so he could go in. Before he opened the door, Duo spoke up. "It's not pretty in there, 'Fei. Just wanted to warn you."  
  
Opening the door he looked in and almost fell over at the sight of Heero hooked up to all the machines. He was very pale and fragile looking. Walking over to the bed he put his hand on Heero's forehead. "Heero I'm sorry. Please come back to us. We have so much to talk about." He stood for what seemed like an eternity, looking at the still form of someone he never thought he would see this way. Sniffing, he gathered himself and left the room. "Duo we have to talk." Duo nodded. "Quatre would you mind watching over Heero for a while?" he asked.  
  
"No, go ahead. We'll call if anything changes." Quatre told them.  
  
"Alright, thanks guys. Let's go get something to eat." Wufei said turning his attention to Duo.  
  
"Ok."  
  
  
  
After ordering their food at a diner near the hospital, Duo picked up the conversation. "I don't really know how to say this but I guess you already know anyway, so I'll just spit it out. Somewhere along the way I've fallen in love with Heero. I still love you. It's really messed up I know. But it's the truth. I'm in love with both of you. How insane is that? If you want to hate me for this, I understand. But it's only fair that I tell you." the food arrived and the conversation ceased for a few minutes.  
  
Duo was getting worried at Wufei's silence until finally he spoke. "No, I'm not mad at you." he said with a tiny smile. "How could I be? We seem to be having the same problem." He couldn't miss the sigh of relief that came from the other side of the table. "Now the question is, what are we going to do?"  
  
"Well I would say that we should just concentrate on helping Heero recover right now. He needs us to be there for him just like all those times he's been there for us. We'll see where it goes from there." Duo said finishing his sandwich. "Let's pay the bill and get back to the hospital."  
  
With everything said, they got up and made their way back.   
  
  
  
"I don't understand, you say he's stable and is healing, but why won't he wake up, Dr. Hammond?" Duo questioned the doctor a week after Heero was brought in.  
  
"Some things don't have answers, Mr. Maxwell. He has to have a fighting spirit and the will to live. Judging from the scars from his cutting, it had become very frequent and chaotic. But that's not too say that he had lost all hope."  
  
Duo slid down the wall, the words felt like they were beating down on him. The doctor laid a hand on his shoulder. "Look son, just keep talking to him. Bring him back. It is possible. Just keep your hopes up." With that said he walked away.   
  
Relena found Duo still slumped on the floor. Kneeling down beside him she nudged him. "Hey Duo, how are you holding up?"  
  
He looked to her with a lost expression on his face. "Why, Relena?" he said softly. "Why did he hurt himself for so long? I don't understand" his eyes pleading for understanding.  
  
She sighed. "He explained it to me once he said that physical pain was easier to deal with than emotional. And that, while he was cutting he could block the emotional and concentrate on the physical."   
  
"It's all my fault, because he got hurt and now because he won't wake up. The doctor said they don't understand why he won't wake and that he might have lost his will to live." Setting his head back down on his knees he tried to stop the tears.  
  
"I could tell you not to blame yourself, but you would anyway, even though it's not your fault. But if it is your fault, then it's mine as well. I could have come to you sooner, but I didn't. Hind-sights 20/20, you know. Looking back does us no good at this point." With this said she hugged him tightly and pulled him to his feet. "Well come on let's go and try to wake up sleeping beauty." Getting a little laugh out of Duo, they walked into the room.  
  
Wufei had fallen asleep leaning on the bed holding Heero's hand. Hearing the door open he blinked his eyes and sat up. "What did the doctor have to say?"  
  
"To just keep talking to him and try to wake him up." Stopping to collect his thoughts. "They don't see a medical reason as to why he won't wake up."  
  
"Oh." Was the only response he got as Wufei looked back down to the bed. "He looks so peaceful doesn't he?"  
  
"Yeah he does." He walked over to Wufei and hugged him from behind. "I need to go and talk to Une. Do you want anything before I leave?"  
  
"No thanks."   
  
"Ok I'll see you later babe. Bye Relena." He said as he left.  
  
"Bye Duo,…Wufei, why don't you go and get some sleep. You look like you haven't slept since this began. When he wakes up you don't want to pass out from exhaustion, now do you?" before the protest could be voiced she held up her hands. "I won't hear it. Go." She said sternly.   
  
"Fine, but call if anything changes." Wufei said as he got up to leave. Taking one last look at Heero before he walked out.  
  
"Those two." She said shaking her head and taking the seat Wufei had vacated. "Heero, Heero, buddy this just isn't right. I mean Duo is always the one to cheer people up. And Wufei, I think he's about to lose his mind." She ran her fingers through his hair. "We want you back Heero. All of us. What would I do without a best-friend?"   
  
tbc… 


	8. Ch 7

Special Thankies to HeeroDuo4eva for pointing out the mess-up on the posted chapters. I'm trying to correct it.   
  
Ch 7  
  
A.C. 198 August  
  
8 days after the shooting.  
  
"Maxwell, what can I do for you?" Une asked as Duo came into her office.  
  
"I need to know how much vacation time Wufei and I have on the books." He said as he sat down.   
  
Une sat back and looked at him. "I expected this to come up. You each have 30 days to take if you'd like. But may I make a suggestion?" she asked.  
  
"What did you have in mind?"  
  
"I understand that field work would not be an option right now. So I'll put you both at desk jobs for the time being. Take a couple weeks of leave and then start working part time and then see where it goes from there." She paused to let Duo think over the information he'd received.   
  
He nodded his head. "I think that sounds good. But I need to talk to Wufei about it first."  
  
"That's understandable. Just let me know when you're coming back to work. Ok?"  
  
"I'll have the answer to that before you get off work today." He said as he stood to leave the office. Before he left he, looked back to Une and in a soft voice thanked her.  
  
"You're welcome Duo." After the door had shut behind him he missed her last words. "Good luck."  
  
  
  
A.C. 198 September  
  
One month after the shooting.  
  
  
  
"We got a puppy. I know Duo really wanted one. He really is adorable. Aside from the fact I already lost a pair of shoes to the damn thing." Wufei sat laughing softly. "It's just a little thing right now, but it's a golden retriever so he'll get pretty big." His voice broke a little. "I…" the door opened and Quatre and Trowa came in. "Hey guys. I was just telling Heero about Wing."  
  
Quatre smiled. "How are you keeping up, Wufei?"  
  
"Alright, I guess. They say he's healed up really well. I think they're surprised actually by it. But I'm not, though, that's our Heero." He said squeezing the unmoving hand. Looking at the sleeping face he continued. "I know he'll pull through."   
  
"Yeah. Well I came by to tell you that I have to go out of town for a few days on business and Trowa's going with me. But if you need anything call me, ok?" he said touching Wufei's shoulder.  
  
"Yeah. I got it."   
  
"Good, I'll see you thursday. Bye Heero, will be back soon." With that they left.  
  
Wufei sighed looking down at Heero. "Duo will be here soon, after he gets off work. It's nice to be at a desk job. Relena said she'd watch Wing for us, so both of us could be up here with you for a while." He paused and stood up. Daily he had been moving Heero's legs and arms and massaging them, in the hopes that when he woke up they wouldn't be as stiff. "Feel like working on these legs of yours. Can't have you getting all flabby on us, now can we." He said straining to keep the mood light.   
  
  
  
The doctor was talking to Duo out in the hall, when Wufei came out to get something to drink.  
  
"A month has gone by, at this point it's all a waiting game. I suggest transferring him to a unit for coma patients." Dr. Hammond was explaining. "His wounds have all healed aside from the use of his legs, which we won't know about until he is awake. I'm sorry to say there are no guarantees at this point. Do you have any questions?" he looked between the two.  
  
Wufei spoke up. "Is there anyway we can have him taken home. We have a down stairs room and we are more than capable of taking care of him. We can hire a live in nurse if we must."  
  
The doctor nodded. "That can be arranged. If you want we can get the process started and see if we can get it approved."  
  
  
  
That weekend found the four ex-pilots and Relena getting Heero settled into Wufei and Duo's house.   
  
"Since everything is settled I'll go and get some dinner started." Quatre said heading towards the kitchen, Trowa following close behind him to help out.  
  
Wufei sat on the bed beside Heero while Duo went to find out what the other two were cooking. Only Relena remained in the room.  
  
"I know you'll take good care of him." she said sitting on the other side of the bed.  
  
"I will. But what happens if…" not able to complete the sentence he just stopped and shook his head. "He'll wake up. I know he will."   
  
Relena just smiled and agreed with him. The call came from the kitchen that food was ready. "Shall we?" she asked standing up.  
  
"Yeah." He said looking down brushing Heero's hair back off his forehead. "I'll be back."  
  
  
  
After dinner Wufei went back to Heero's room. "It's been quite a day, hasn't it? I hope you like your room. We bought all this furniture just for you." Duo came in on this scene and stood quietly by the door way. "I'll introduce you to Wing if you want. He's really a good dog. I'm sure he'll love you." his voice broke. Duo walked over to Wufei and pulled him into a hug. Tears shining in his eyes, Wufei looked up at Duo.   
  
"Shh, I know baby, I know." Duo said rocking him gently.  
  
  
  
On Monday they hired a nurse to be there during the day, so they could both go back to work full-time. Falling into a routine of work and watching over their 'Sleeping beauty', everyone's nick name for the Japanese teen.  
  
  
  
A.C. 198 October  
  
"You know 'Fei is really enjoying the desk job. I think I like it better too. Who would have thought? The ex-gundam pilots are domesticated." Laughing he continued brushing Heero's hair. "You know you don't look bad with your hair a little longer. It looks good on you." Setting the brush aside, he laid down beside Heero. Looking at the I.V.'s running everywhere he sighed. "So, how are you liking Mille? She's a great nurse. Only the best for our own, you know. She came very highly recommended… I'm used to being the only one talking when it comes to you, but this still just seems so wrong. You're suppose to tell me to shut up and call me stupid. Two months is a long time not to have you make fun of me." Wing came into the room and jumped up on the bed curling up beside Heero. "I think he likes you better than me. Oh well. I'm not very surprised." He ran his fingers through the soft fur of the dog.  
  
Wufei came in to give Heero his bath. "You going to help me?" he asked Duo.  
  
"If you want help. I guess I better get Wing outta here." Duo said getting up. "Come on Wing."   
  
Setting the bowl of water on the night stand, he pulled the covers back. "Relena's coming over in a little bit. She and Daniel are doing well. I think she said that he's coming with her. He really is a great guy." Getting Heero cleaned up he put fresh pajamas on him and pulled the covers up. "He told us that you put the fear of God into him when he first started dating Relena." He laughed. "We really got a kick out of that story." A knock came on the door showing that Relena had showed up. "Come in."  
  
Just as Wufei had said Daniel was with her. "I'll leave you two now. Are you going to stay for dinner? We're having pork chops." He asked on his way to the door.  
  
"Sounds good, Wufei. Thanks for the invite." She said as she sat down in the chair next to the bed.   
  
"Ok." With that he left the two to visit with Heero.  
  
"Hey Heero, Daniel came with me today. He wanted to see you again. I hope that they're taking good care of you here. If not I'll set them straight. Ok?" turning to her boyfriend. "Do you mind if I have a few minutes alone with him?"  
  
"Not at all. I'll be in the kitchen helping them with dinner." He said as he kissed her cheek.  
  
"Thanks." After he left she turned her attention back to the unconscious teen. "Hey I have a secret Heero. But I really need to talk to you about something… Daniel asked me to marry him." she said in hushed tones. "I love him. I want for you to give me and him your blessing. I know it sounds silly but I just want your approval. And plus I want you to walk me down the aisle." She said with tears in her eyes. "We haven't told anyone yet. I wanted you to be the first to know. So I'll hold off. I just know you'll wake up soon. I just wanted you to know." She was holding his hand and trying to hold her tears back. "Well I better go see if I can help out in the kitchen."   
  
1 week later.  
  
"Halloween is tomorrow. No party this year though. Too much has been going on. I think we're going to take it slow the rest of the year. I think we all need this break, anyway." Duo said to Heero as he was carefully shaving his face. "You probably wouldn't like it too much if we left you all hairy, uh? Well don't worry I wouldn't do that to you buddy."  
  
Wufei was watching, sitting in the other chair in the room. Smiling and shaking his head he went back to reading his book.   
  
"The weather's really starting to get cold. I really don't like winter. Fall and spring are the best times of the year. But I guess your best time was spring." Duo said giggling. "Spandex is really summer clothes. Don't get me wrong though, I like your spandex. It's been too long since you've worn them."   
  
Wing came running into the room looking for attention by rubbing Duo's leg and trying to jump on the bed. "Not now Wing. Go play with 'Fei." Running to Wufei, he immediately started jumping on him.   
  
"Alright, alright I get the hint." Standing up he grabbed the leash of the dresser. "I'm going to take him out for a walk. Be back in a few." He said kissing Duo softly.  
  
"Ok. Have fun."   
  
  
  
A.C. 198 November  
  
  
  
"Come on Wufei." Quatre pleaded while standing beside Wufei in the kitchen.  
  
"No." Wufei said for what felt like the hundredth time in the past 5 minutes.  
  
Trowa stepped in at this point. "Look Wufei, we understand that you don't want to be away in case he wakes up. But trust me you need a break. Quatre and I are glad to stay with Heero so you can get out. So you and Duo go get ready and get out of here. You've been running yourself ragged since this happened. It's been 3 months, it's almost December and you haven't even started decorating for Christmas. I know for a fact Duo always had the decorations at least out by now. So go and get out. Everything will be fine." He said as he pushed the Chinese teen towards the stairs to go get ready to go out.   
  
"Ok guys. I'm sorry. It's not that I don't trust you. It's just that…"   
  
"We understand. Now go get ready and you two get out of here." Quatre said.  
  
  
  
"It really is nice to get out. Don't you think?" Duo asked when they were half way through their meal. "I mean we haven't gone on a date in a long time."   
  
"Yeah, it is nice." Wufei said. "It seems as if our whole lives have almost come to a stop. But I just can't seem to make myself start again until he wakes up." He pushed his plate to the side. "But what happens when he wakes up? I just can't seem to quit thinking about that."  
  
"I know. But we just have to see how things will turn out. We could sit here and drive ourselves crazy on the 'what ifs' and that wouldn't do us any good. We just have to take this one day at a time." Duo sat there for a minute and then giggled.  
  
"What?" Wufei asked.  
  
"Well it just seems wrong that I'm being the sensible one here." He laughed a little more and Wufei smiled.   
  
"Yeah I guess you're right. You ready to head home?" he asked reaching for the check.  
  
"Yeah, let's get back home."   
  
  
  
  
  
A.C. 198 December  
  
  
  
'I am so tired of all this paperwork.' Wufei was sitting at his desk at work looking up at the calendar. 'I'm just glad it's Friday.' A knock came on his desk and Une walked in. "Hi, Une what can I do for you?" he asked.  
  
"Nothing I just came to ask you how Heero was." She said sitting a chair opposite his.  
  
"The same." He sighed. "But I'm sure it's just a matter of time before he'll be back to glaring and growling at everyone again." He said with a sad smile on his face.  
  
"So are you ready for your Christmas vacation to start?" she said changing the subject. "Only one more week of work and then three weeks of vacation start."  
  
Sitting back in his chair he nodded his head. "Yeah, I am looking forward to it. Although I'm just glad we finally got all the decorations up. Duo can go really insane with that stuff."  
  
"I can only imagine." Standing up she headed for the door. "Take care of yourself Wufei." Then she walked out.  
  
'That was strange.' Seeing the time he began packing his papers up for the day.   
  
"Hey 'Fei, you ready to get going?" Duo said coming into his office.  
  
"Yeah, let me just get this last bit packed up and we can head home." He said heading to the filling cabinet.   
  
  
  
"Hey Mille we're home." Duo called out to the nurse.   
  
"Hey. Alright I'll get out of here as soon as I get this iv bag changed." Came the reply from the short stocky woman.  
  
Watching her finish up, he then moved in to sit beside Heero. "Hey buddy, we're home for the weekend. Work was boring as usual. Well I better go get out of this damn uniform. See you in a bit." He said leaving the room. Walking up the stairs to his bedroom, he saw Wufei already out of his uniform and heading back downstairs. "Hey baby," he said pulling Wufei up to him in a tight hug. Kissing his cheek and moving to his lips. Wufei ran his tongue over his bottom lip and Duo happily granted access to let the kiss deepen. They pulled apart when the need for air set in. "I've missed you."  
  
Wufei looked thoroughly confused. "I haven't been anywhere." He said.  
  
"We both have been. We haven't made love in a long time. Please baby, come back to the room with me." He said pulling Wufei behind him. Wufei willingly followed.  
  
Once in the room, Wufei began the kiss again. Making the way to the bed, clothes falling along the way, Wufei pushed Duo down on the bed then laid down on top of him rubbing their naked bodies together. Moaning at the feel of each other they spent the next hour trying to push the world away and get back to each other.   
  
Lying in side by side on the bed worn out Duo fell asleep, while Wufei got up and showered. After looking back to Duo's sleeping form he went downstairs to check on Heero.  
  
Seeing everything in order he sat down beside him on the bed holding the still unmoving hand. "I miss you so much, Heero. I miss hearing your voice. What were the words?" he paused for a moment, tears coming to his eyes. "My heart can't take the beating, not having you to hold. A small voice keeps repeating, deep inside my soul." His voice raw with emotion, he didn't notice that Duo had come to the door and just stood there, tears coming to his eyes. "It says I can't keep pretending, I don't love you anymore." He heard a sniff come from the doorway and turned to see Duo walking away. Looking back to the bed, he reached up and brushed his fingers lightly over Heero's cheek. "I know that this is probably the hardest battle I've ever fought, because I'm standing on the sidelines. I can do nothing." He leaned down and kissed Heero's cheek and whispered in his ear. "You will come back to us, won't you?"  
  
tbc… 


	9. Ch 8

Well here's the next part. Thankies for all the great reviews and threats…umm… yeah. Enjoy.  
  
  
  
Ch. 8  
  
A.C. 198 Christmas Eve  
  
The party was held at Wufei and Duo's this year, for obvious reasons. Aside from just the ex-pilots being there, Relena and Daniel were also in attendance. After dinner, Duo announced that it was present time.  
  
"Um, Duo aren't presents suppose to be passed out on Christmas Day?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Well yeah but it's tradition to open up one on Christmas Eve." He said as they were walking into the living room to get around the tree. "Ok everyone gets one so pick one and let's get to opening."  
  
After everyone had a present picked out, paper went flying everywhere as they all tore into them at once. Once they were all done, Wufei sat holding a small unopened box.   
  
Relena saw him and commented. "Aren't you going to open it?" she asked.  
  
"Oh I've already opened mine. This one is for Heero." He said still looking at the box. "I think I'll take it in to him." with this said he left the room. Walking into Heero's room, he sat down beside the bed. "Hey Heero, Merry Christmas. I hope you like it. It took me and Duo forever to figure out what to get you." He said as he sat the small box in Heero's hand. Before he pulled back, the hand that had been still for so long moved to grip the present. Gasping he looked up to see if Heero's was awake. The blue eyes were still closed. The only sign that it really happened was the fact that the present was still in the tight grip.   
  
Jumping up, Wufei ran to the others. "Duo! He moved! He moved his hand." He said almost yelling in excitement.   
  
"What? Did he wake up?" Duo asked getting excited himself.   
  
"No but he moved on his own. He held on to the box. That's a good sign." He said.  
  
"That's great." And many other excited words came from the group. After talking for a few more minutes Wufei decided to go back into the bedroom.  
  
"If he wakes up I don't want him to be alone. Goodnight everyone."  
  
"Goodnight." Relena said as she got up to leave. "I think we'll be heading home guys. We'll be back in the morning."   
  
"Goodnight Relena, Daniel." Duo said as he led them to the door. Heading back to the living room he sat down on the couch. "Hey Quatre the spare rooms all made up if you and Trowa want to head to bed."  
  
"Ok thanks. We'll see you in the morning." He said as they headed up.  
  
After sitting on the couch for a while, he stood up and walked to Heero's room to find Wufei already asleep on one side of Heero. Smiling he went and got the camera from the living room and came back and took a picture. He shut the door and head up to their room, since there wasn't enough room in Heero's bed with Wufei on one side and Wing on the other.  
  
  
  
Wufei woke up and stretched. 'Wow Duo actually let everyone sleep until it was light out this time.' Sitting up he looked over to Heero and almost fell off the bed when he saw blue eyes looking at him. "Heero, you're awake." When he tried to speak, Wufei stopped him. "Let me get you something to drink, I'm sure your throat will be very dry. I'll be right back." He said running out of the room.  
  
Duo was digging in the cabinets and Quatre and Trowa were sitting at the table when Wufei came running in. Everyone stopped when they saw how excited he was. "He's awake." Was all he said while he was getting a glass out and filling it with water.   
  
"Oh my God, really?" Duo said.  
  
Wufei looked to him with a big smile on his face. "Yes he is. Are you coming with me?"  
  
"Hell yeah!" Duo said heading to the door.  
  
Quatre and Trowa didn't move. "Should we wait here, or can we come see him?" the blonde asked quietly.  
  
Wufei called over his shoulder. "I think it'd be fine if you came in. Come on guys."  
  
They all headed to the room. Stopping outside the door, Wufei suddenly became nervous.   
  
Trowa laid his hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you go in first and see if he doesn't mind company. Then call us in."  
  
"Yeah I guess that'd be a better idea." Giving them a small smile he walked in the room.  
  
Heero was looking at the gift that he still hadn't opened. When Wufei walked in, he looked up.   
  
"Hey, here drink this." Holding the glass to the dry lips he helped him drink and then set the glass aside.  
  
In a croaked whisper Heero finally spoke. "What's this?" he said holding out the present a little.  
  
"It's one of your Christmas presents." He said with a slight blush.  
  
Blue eyes widened. "Christmas?" he said softly. "It's Christmas?" looking down at the present he spoke again. "How is that possible?"   
  
Wufei sat down beside him and reached out to hold the Japanese mans hand like he'd become use to doing. "I know. It's been a while. Since August, after you were shot, you were in the hospital for about a month and you've been here since then. I hope you don't mind."   
  
"No, I don't mind." He said quietly "Wufei, what happened?"   
  
"Do you remember that mission you and Duo went on?" he asked, worry showing in almost black eyes.  
  
Heero searched his racing thoughts trying to place what had happened. "I remember getting the hostages out… leading them to the jet. I turned around and saw gunners coming out of the building. I ran pushed him to the ground and that's all I remember."   
  
Wufei sat down on the side of the bed. "You saved his life. But you almost killed yourself in the process." He said picking up Heero's hand. "You got shot, many times." He choked on the words. "Had it been anyone else they would be dead right now." The words of the doctor went through his head 'he has to have the will to live.' He looked into blue eyes. "Heero… any way we brought you here and Mille has been really great."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Oh Mille, she's the nurse we hired. She watched over you during the day while Duo and I were at work. Sally's is your main doctor though. We both took desk jobs since this whole thing started. Which I must say, I like it much more than field work. Never thought I'd be one for that kind of thing but it really does suit me. God listen to me, the guys are out in the hall. Are you up for company?" Wufei asked.   
  
Heero nodded his head. Wufei smiled. "Great. Hey guys you can come in." he called.  
  
Everyone filed into the room, Duo in the lead, jumping on the other side of the bed. "Hey Heero, it's been a while. How do you feel?" he asked.  
  
"Ok I guess, considering I have been out of it for the past 4 months." He said sadly.  
  
Duo picked up on the sadness and laid his hand on Heero's cheek. "But you're back with us now, Sleeping Beauty." He said with a smile.  
  
Heero blushed. Looking to the other two in the room he smiled slightly. "Hi guys." He said softly.   
  
"Hey Heero, is there anything I can get for you?" Quatre asked from the side of the bed.  
  
"Well food sounds good. I feel like I haven't eaten in four months." Drawing a laugh from the people in the room he smiled. Seeing Trowa's small smile he turned to Wufei and Duo. "Hey guys can I have a minute to talk to Trowa?" he asked somewhat nervous.  
  
"Sure, we'll go and get some breakfast started. And we'll need to call Sally and tell her you're awake. Ok?" Duo said standing up.  
  
"Ok." Heero said. Once everyone had left except Trowa he looked to the taller teen. "I… I wanted to say I'm sorry."  
  
Trowa was not expecting this and sat down looking confused. "For what?"  
  
"For treating you the way I did when you came over that night after the club." He said looking down at his hands.  
  
"Oh, that. Well, Heero let me just say that happened a while ago. And I understand. But can I just say that you don't only have Relena to talk to. If things start to get bad again, please, come to me or talk to someone before it gets to that point." Seeing a questioning look on the pale face he knew what it was for. "I didn't tell anyone. But when you were in the hospital the cuts were seen. They know. You can talk to any of us, Heero; especially Duo and Wufei."   
  
Sighing, "Yeah I know. Would you mind sending Duo and Wufei in here?"   
  
"No. I'll go get them."   
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No problem." Trowa said as he went out into the hall.  
  
Heero tried to push himself up on the bed but he was too weak to even manage that. Duo walked in when I was just about to give up.   
  
"What's up man?" Duo asked as he walked up to the bed and helped him sit up.  
  
Wufei came in right behind Duo and came to the other side of the bed.   
  
"I just wanted to thank the both of you for, well everything." He said shyly.  
  
"We didn't mind one bit. We're just glad you're awake." Wufei said brushing Heero's hair back out of his eyes. It had grown a lot longer than usual, the shortest of it tucking behind his ears easily.   
  
"I guess I need a haircut, huh?" he said.  
  
Wufei smiled. "If you want, I kinda like it this way." He said.  
  
Quatre called from the kitchen saying breakfast was almost ready. "Well do you want to come out to breakfast?" Wufei asked.  
  
Blues eyes looked down at the present that was still sitting on the bed. Duo saw what he was looking at. "Go ahead. Open it." He said softly.  
  
He picked the present back up and slowly began to remove the paper. Opening the box he found a set of keys. "What's this?" he asked looking between the two of them.  
  
"Well, we just wanted you to know that you are welcome to stay here. We'd like for you to stay here." Wufei said looking down at his hands.   
  
"What about my apartment?" he asked.  
  
"It's still open for you. But we just figured that since it's on the third floor and everything that maybe it would be easier for you to be here." Duo said.   
  
"Well I think for the time being it would be for the best." Heero said.   
  
"Breakfast will be ready any time now. Do you want to go out there or eat in here?" Duo asked nodding towards a wheelchair in the corner of the room. "We have that for you."   
  
Heero cringed when he saw what the violet eyes were motioning towards. "I would like to get up. But I would like a shower or something first."  
  
"I think that would be fine but a shower wouldn't really work. How about a bath?" Wufei pointed out.  
  
Heero nodded and tried to move. "I don't really see how that will work either."   
  
"Well one of us can help you out." Wufei said noticing the blush that crossed the other boys face.  
  
"I'll go tell them that you will be out in a minute and have the food kept warm." Duo said leaving the room.  
  
Wufei noticed Heero looking at him oddly. "What?"   
  
"Nothing. It's just that, how are we going to do this?" he asked still blushing.  
  
"Like this." Wufei said moving the covers back and picking up the smaller teen from the bed.   
  
If Heero thought the blush on his face couldn't get any worse he was wrong. 'God this is so embarrassing.'   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
"I just feel so weak at the moment." He whispered. "I've never felt so weak in my life." He laid his head on Wufei's shoulder.  
  
Setting Heero down in the bathroom he got the water going and then turned to get them both stripped of their clothes. "Ok I'm going to get in here with you. It will make this easier to get this done. Is that ok?" he asked.  
  
"Yes."   
  
Wufei nodded and then got the job done. After getting Heero cleaned, dressed and in the wheelchair; he pushed him towards the kitchen. There was a knock on the door so they detoured towards the front of the house. He saw the boy in the wheelchair stiffen. "It's probably Relena. She and Daniel are supposed to be over this morning."   
  
The tension left Heero's shoulders a little at this news. "Can I answer it?" he asked.  
  
Smiling Wufei nodded. He pushed the wheelchair up to the door and opened it with himself behind the door so that Heero was the only one seen.  
  
Relena stood there a look of shock on her face. Raising her hands to her face tears came to her eyes. "Oh God." She whispered softly.   
  
"Oh come on Rel' is that all you have to say?" blue eyes also filling with tears.  
  
"Heero, I've missed you so much." she said throwing her arms around him.   
  
Still too stiff to move very much, he barely got one arm to reach up and touch her arm. "Sorry for worrying you." he said tears in his voice.  
  
"Just don't let it happen again." She said sternly with a smile giving away the fact that she wasn't angry.  
  
Sadness filled blue eyes. "Don't worry about that. I really don't think I'll make it back to my regular job at this point."   
  
"Don't think about that right now. It's Christmas and you woke up. I think you just gave everyone the greatest present that could possible have been given. No place for worrying." She said turning him around and leading him to the kitchen.   
  
Daniel patted his shoulder. "Good to have you back Heero. There's something I need to talk to you about." He said looking towards Wufei.  
  
"I'll go into the kitchen and give you guys a few minutes of privacy. Just hurry because the food is ready." He said leaving the three alone.  
  
"What's up Dan?"  
  
"I have asked Relena to marry me."   
  
Blue eyes looked up to Relena and a smile broke out on his face. "That's great. When's the date set?" he asked.  
  
"Well we haven't set one. We haven't even told anyone yet. We wanted you to be the first to know and I want you to walk me down the aisle." Relena said.  
  
He looked up at her and smiled. "I would be honored." Then he looked to Daniel, "You have my blessing." He said.  
  
Daniel placed his hand on Japanese teens shoulder. "Thank you."  
  
"When were you going to tell everyone?" he asked the pair.  
  
"Well we wouldn't want to distract from the greatness of sleeping beauty waking, now would we?" Relena said.  
  
Heero groaned. "Just who started this sleeping beauty stuff anyway?"   
  
Relena grinned. "That would be me. How could I resist?"  
  
"Ok, let's go eat and you two have an announcement to make." He stopped them before they could protest with a glare. "Come on, let's go give them the good news."  
  
As congratulations rose over breakfast, Christmas looked to have every wish come true.  
  
Not even eating half of his food, Heero pushed his plate to the side. Yawning a little, he shook his head trying to stay awake.  
  
"Are you ready to go back to bed?" Duo asked.  
  
"No. I don't want to be back in bed yet." He said. "I guess I'm just kind of pathetic right now."  
  
Wufei looked at him. "You are not pathetic Heero. Do you want to bundle up and go sit on the porch for a while?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah that sounds nice. Thanks." Going out to the porch, the three sat while the group inside worked on getting the kitchen cleaned up.   
  
"Once they get done inside, it'll be time to open presents." Duo said excitedly.  
  
Heero looked down. "Well I would say I'm sorry I didn't get anyone anything but that would sound rather ridiculous." Just then Wing came running around the corner.  
  
"Come here boy." Wufei called out. "Come here Wing."   
  
Looking up quickly at Wufei then to the dog, Heero said the name softly. "Wing?"  
  
"Yeah." Was all the Chinese teen said.  
  
Duo watched as the dog jumped around Heero. "When we got him, it was just the first name that came to mind."   
  
Heero smiled at the dog and petted him. "Hi Wing. How ya doing, boy?"   
  
Wufei sat back and watched Heero with Wing. The year was almost over. So much had happened in the last year that it seemed more like 10 years. He couldn't help but wonder what the next year would bring.  
  
His thoughts were cut off as a car pulled up into the drive. Watching Sally get out, he turned to Heero. "Well it's time for a check up."  
  
Heero sighed. "I guess there's no avoiding it."  
  
Sally stopped in front of the three. "Good to see you awake Heero." Turning to the other two her look turned slightly agitated. "And just what is he doing out here in the cold? No change that, what is he doing out of bed?" she gave them a reproachful look and then sighed. "Come on let's get him in so I can see how sleeping beauty faired."  
  
Heero's head dropped to his chest groaning loudly. "Just how many people are going to call me that?"  
  
  
  
After about 45 minutes, Sally came out into the living room where all the others in the house had sat around waiting for the results. In a somewhat subdued voice she told them what she had. "Ok guys, the next year is going to be very challenging."  
  
"What's wrong, Sally?" Duo said jumping off the couch.   
  
"Well the good news is that he has full mobility in his upper body, even though he is still very stiff right now. He has some feeling in his lower body, however the bad news is that can't move his legs at all right now. I believe that he will be able to at least reach the point of walking with braces on his legs and using a cane. But even reaching that point could take a long time. We will know more once he starts physical therapy." Wufei and Duo reached for each others hands as if they were lifelines.  
  
Sally looked around at all the down faces. "Now we can get Heero out here so everyone can open the Christmas presents that I still see piled under the tree. If he feels up to it that is."  
  
"I'll go ask." Wufei said heading towards the bedroom. Opening the door, he saw Heero attempting to push himself up on the bed, sweat streaming down his face from the effort. "Here let me help you." he said rushing to Heero's side. Getting him sat up, he sat down beside the tired teen. "Would you like to come out and open presents?"  
  
Heero kept his face down. "I…" he couldn't finish.  
  
Wufei put a finger under the pale chin and lifted it so he could see teary blue eyes. His breath caught.  
  
"I don't know what I want 'Fei." Came a barely audible whisper. "What am I going to do now?" a tear slide down his cheek despite his effort to keep it from coming.  
  
Wufei reached up and wiped the from Heero's cheek. "You will take it one day at a time and we will be here right along with you. You won't be alone."  
  
The dam broke and tears came streaming down his face. Wufei held him until the tears dried.   
  
Tbc… 


	10. Ch 9

Hey everyone. Sorry it's taken me so long to update. I hope I still have a fan left out there to read it. Sorry about it being short. I had massive problems with this part. Writers block or something. Well any way I hope you enjoy. Ja.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ch. 9  
  
  
  
After Heero had cried himself to sleep, Wufei went out to join the others. None were really surprised to see him alone. He sat down beside Duo. "Maybe after dinner he'll feel up to opening presents. I would like to wait for him." he said sadly.  
  
"How is he?" Quatre asked.  
  
"Well he was very tired, he's asleep right now." He chose to leave out the painful scene of watching the tears that brought the Japanese teen to sleep.  
  
  
  
Heero woke up slightly disoriented. "What?" he said aloud and then everything came crashing back. Tears came to his eyes and he pushed them back. Everything was so unfamiliar, even his own body. He longed for the sanctuary of his apartment. 'Hiding is what I've become best at after all.' He thought. He was brought out of his thoughts by a knock on the door.  
  
"Come in." he said.  
  
Duo came in and shut the door behind him. "Hey buddy. It's almost dinner time. You wanna come out?" he asked with a hopeful look in his violet eyes.  
  
Heero couldn't help but notice the difference in those eyes. The eyes that were once so full of mischief and playfulness were now more subdued and serious. How much had they gone through for him? He owed them more than he could ever return.  
  
"Ok." He said and watched how happy it made Duo he couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips.  
  
Once out with everyone in the dinning room though, he began to feel nervous for some reason. Pushing the feeling aside, he joined in with the dinner conversation and the festivities of unwrapping presents afterwards. By the time they were done, he was already exhausted again. Duo noticed this and called it an early evening. He noticed how tense Heero had been all night, and that didn't change while he was getting him ready for bed.   
  
"Are you ok?" he asked after he had gotten Heero in bed.   
  
Heero looked to Duo with tired eyes. "I guess I'm as well as I can be. It's just going to take me a while before I can get up to full speed again." He said then looked down. 'If I ever get up again.' His melancholy shown in every gesture and move he made.   
  
Duo leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Heero. "I know I can't say I understand. And I can't say it will be alright. But if you need or want to talk then I'm here. I'll always be here for you ok?" he said.  
  
"Yeah I know. I'm fine really. I just need to get some sleep ok?" he said trying to be convincing.  
  
Duo just nodded his head and got up to go. "Goodnight Heero."  
  
"Goodnight Duo."  
  
Once he was alone again, he just sat there. Tired as he was there was just too much going through his mind to let him sleep. He laid there staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. He ran one hand along his upper arm, feeling it smooth brought his attention away from the ceiling. He looked at all the small scars that were fading with some what a feeling of loss. Cutting had been a constant almost a reassuring feeling that he was alive in some ways. Sighing he pulled his hand away and finally fell to sleep.  
  
The next morning Wufei was cooking breakfast when a crash caused him to run out of the kitchen and head to Heero's room. Duo was running down the steps and was right behind Wufei when he got to the bedroom door. He ran in a saw Heero on the floor and the wheelchair tipped over. He went to help but was brought up short when he saw blue eyes. There was nothing in them it was almost like looking at the pilot of Wing back during the war.  
  
"Heero?" he hesitantly questioned.  
  
"I don't need any help. I have to be able to do this on my own." Came the gruff reply.  
  
He looked to Duo for help but the same question of what to do was written all over the other teens face as well. Then Duo stepped past Wufei and walked over to the mess.   
  
"Heero, I'm going to pick you up and put you in the chair." He said sternly.  
  
"Back off Duo, I can handle this." He said putting all his effort into trying to get the chair back up right again.  
  
Duo sighed. "Ok fine, but at least let me just set the chair up for you."  
  
"Fine."  
  
After the chair was sitting right again, Heero pulled himself into painfully. He looked any where but at the two of them.   
  
"Look at me Heero." Duo said gently. When there was no response he knelt down in front of the chair and put his hand under Heero's chin to make him look at him. "We are here to help. Don't shut us out. Let us help you." he pleaded.  
  
Wufei was a Duo's side by this point. "You've done so much for us in the past, Heero. Now let us help you." he was almost pleading.   
  
Heero didn't know what to say. He couldn't help feeling out of place and in need of being alone. The feeling of needing his razor was overwhelming. "Can I go to my place and get a few things?"   
  
The quick change of subject confused the two so much it took them a while to answer. Duo was the first to find his voice. "Sure. When would you like to go?"  
  
"Today, if that's possible." He said softly.   
  
"That should be fine. We can go right after breakfast if you'd like." Duo said.  
  
"Ok."  
  
  
  
They made it to the apartment about an hour and a half later. Wufei was pushing Heero through the door. "Do you need any help?" he asked.  
  
"No. I'm just going to grab some things out of the bedroom. I'll be right back." He said pushing himself towards the bedroom. "There might be something worth drinking in the kitchen if you want to check. I'm sure there's bottled water in there." He said before he went in a closed the door. The two left in the living room headed toward the kitchen to find something to drink.  
  
Heero sighed once the door was shut. He headed to the bathroom to grab the first thing he thought was on the list of important things he needed. His blade he used for cutting. Then going back out, he got his things together and hid the blade in them. Then headed back out to where Duo and Wufei were waiting.   
  
  
  
Sitting in his room back at the house he reached under the mattress to where he had the blade hidden. Not a very safe place to hide it but it was the best he could come up with and still keep it in reach. It was late and everyone else was asleep but once again he was still awake with his thoughts. "So what am I suppose to do now. Just sit back and watch life go by." He laughed a little sad laugh. Wing was lying on the bed beside him. "They say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity." He said to the almost asleep puppy. "I just don't know what to do. I know I have to get out of this damn state of feeling sorry for myself. Damn it I was supposed to die on that mission. I wasn't supposed to make it. I don't know how to live or maybe I just don't know how to die. I've been on the verge so many times. But it never happens. I guess I have incredible luck. But is it good luck or bad. Well in a sense it's good because I don't die but that's also why it's bad." He paused in his musing to lift up his shirt sleeve and began to pull the blade across his skin. Feeling the familiar pain gave him a sense of peace. Watching the light trail of blood forming on his upper arm he clenched his jaw in anger. Would life ever change? Would he ever feel happy, truly happy? Would he ever get over this petty obsession? All these questions and more ran through his mind until sleep claimed him.  
  
  
  
Wufei woke up and looked to the clock. 8 A.M. "Duo." He said as he shook the others shoulder lightly. "You're turn to get breakfast ready." He said as he turned to get out of bed. Grabbing his robe on the way out, he turned to make sure that Duo was actually up before he headed down the stairs to Heero's room.   
  
Opening the door quietly, so as not to disturb Heero too soon, he crept into the room. Wing barely opened his eyes and then whimpered as if he was telling Wufei to get lost.   
  
"Come here boy." He whispered. "Let's get you outside before you mess up the bed." Something caught his eye before he got the dog off the bed. He turned to look up and saw that it was something on Heero's shirt. Leaning in slightly to get a better look, he gasped as he realized what it was. Then he hurried and got out of the room with Wing. He let, the now awake, dog out and went into the kitchen. Seeing Duo he threw himself into his arms holding on for all he was worth.  
  
"'Fei baby, what's wrong?" Duo asked worriedly as Wufei began to cry uncontrollably into his shirt.   
  
"He's doing it again, Duo." Wufei said silently.  
  
Duo didn't understand. "What?" he asked  
  
Wufei straightened himself up and looked into his lovers eyes. "His shirt sleeve has blood on it Duo." He said tears coming down his face.   
  
What ever reaction he had expected Duo to have this was not what he expected. A flame burned in his violet eyes and he jumped up. "Fuck. Hell no. Not in this house." Duo ranted on his way out of the kitchen. Wufei followed him as he went to Heeros' room. He saw Duo bang into the room making so much noise he was sure it woke the teen in bed instantly. Sure enough, when he turned into the room he saw Heero had fallen off the bed jumping from the loud way he was woken.   
  
Wufei's eyes widened at the venom in his loves eyes. "Duo…" he stopped and decided to let the scene play out.  
  
Heero laid in the floor looking very confused at first and then extremely pissed. "What the hell's your problem?" he asked.  
  
"My problem? What the hell is My Problem?!" he yelled. He reached forward and grabbed Heeros arm. Seeing him wince and try to pull away he lifted up the shirt sleeve. "That is my problem! We have gone through hell and back to get you back to us. Watched over you, took care of you, and lived our lives for you even when you couldn't see and you have the nerve to do this." He was pissed.   
  
"It's none of your business." Heero said in a calm voice void of emotion.  
  
"Don't you pull that shit on me, Yuy. Don't you dare shut off you emotions on me!" He said slapping Heero in the face.   
  
Heero looked at him horrified. "What…"   
  
"That was for scaring the shit out of me. Don't you know that you're worth way too much to the just waste your life away like this." His voice and body were shaking. "And don't you dare get that look on your face. You are. You're worth so much to me. To us, me and Wufei both. And you would dare to take all of our hard work of taking care of you to pull this shit!" his voice was raising again.   
  
Wufei just stood back having no idea what to do. He noticed the fear in the violet eyes shining through more than anger and wondered if Heero could see that too.  
  
"Heero, don't take this the wrong way, but get over this damn pity-party and open up." He saw that Heero was about to say something and he raised his hand in a gesture that said for him to stay quiet. "Look…" he paused and looked to Wufei, "Come here 'Fei." Once Wufei had reached his side he grabbed his hand and then reached down and picked up Heeros hand and put it between their hands. "We didn't go through all this just for you Heero. Yes we were also being selfish. We went through all of that because we wanted you in our life. We want you with us. We both love you." he paused to see if Heero was getting any of this. Then went finished what he was saying. "We are both in love with you."   
  
Heero looked to Wufei to see if the Duo was telling the truth. What he saw in those almost black eyes proved that he was.   
  
Wufei still felt the need to voice it though. "Yes, Heero, it's true. I'm in love with you too."   
  
"Can I be alone for a minute?" Heero asked quietly not trusting his voice.  
  
Wufei looked to Duo. "Yeah that shouldn't be a problem. But first," Duo held out his hand. "Give it to me Heero." he said.  
  
Heero looked at him then nodded towards the bed. "In between the mattresses."   
  
Duo got the blade and then turned to Heero. "Ok let's get you off the floor first. Do you want to get into bed or the chair?" he asked.  
  
"The chair please, I'll come out in a few minutes." He said.  
  
"Ok." Duo said picking him up and putting him in the chair. He was about to say more when Heero cut him off.  
  
"I'll be out in a minute and we can talk then." He said.  
  
"Ok." Then the two left Heero to his thoughts.  
  
Sitting in front of the window, he looked out not really knowing what to think. 'They love me. They're in love with me.' He felt a smile tug at his lips and then it drained into a frown before it could even form. 'Oh my god. What have I done? How do I fix this?' he held his hand up to his face where Duo had slapped him. 'He is pretty pissed at me. But sitting here running my thoughts in circles will get me no where.' So he went out to find Duo and Wufei to see how he could repair this damage, even though he was scared shitless.  
  
  
  
Tbc… 


	11. authors note

Hi everyone, I'm not sure if anyone even remembers my story at this point. It's been forever since I've been able to do anything. (massive computer problems- virus upon virus wiping everything clean- that kinda thing) well major problem set in that I lost my story that was finished. I just now have the computer up and running but I want to know if anyone will still read it. Please just let me know if anyone wants the rest.. so I can rewrite it. Hehe. Thanks. 


	12. Ch 10

Hi everyone, thanks so much for all the reviews I just about died when I saw that many people had read this. Thanks for all the encouragement. After all of that I just had to tear my apartment apart to see if I could find the disk my work was saved on. And lo and behold I found it… after mass destruction! Any way so here's the next part I hope it's worth the wait. (Just as a warning I'll let y'all know I'm not too good at the happy sappy shit.)  
  
Ch. 10  
  
Duo and Wufei were sitting in the living room not know what to expect next.   
  
Wufei looked up to Duo tears in his eyes. "Are you sure that was wise?"  
  
Violet eyes looked up from his hands, a lost look now on the face that was full of fury, "No, I'm not. But I just snapped. I can't let him do that to himself, 'Fei. I just can't." he leaned his head into his hands.   
  
They were brought out of their silent thoughts when they heard Heero come into the room. Both jumped to their feet.   
  
"No, sit down." Heero said as he pushed himself in front of them. "I don't really know what to say." He sighed and moved over towards the window and looked out at the falling snow. "It's at times like these when you've spent so long wanting something so bad and then all of the sudden it seems to have dropped into your lap, that you sit back and realize what a spoiled and selfish brat you've been." When he saw them about to protest he raised his hand to stop them. "I know what I've been feeling and thinking whether you two did or not. I was being selfish. I was also being selfish when I let myself get to this point without talking to someone about the problems I was having. I didn't even tell my best friends when I was having some pretty serious problems. And that was a messed up thing to do to both of you. I'm sorry. I feel as if I can never make it up to you." he looked back to the window.   
  
When he said nothing more, Wufei stood and walked to him. "You were hurting. No one can blame you for that. No one can hold that against you. As for you not coming to us, yes you were wrong. But if you can come to us now and talk to us then this won't have to happen again and all is forgiven." He looked into blue eyes and smiled. "It's not like you've never done anything for us. Consider this house, we wouldn't have it if it weren't for you." seeing surprise on Heero's face he laughed. "Yes I know that you helped us get this house, which will now be your house; if you chose to accept it."  
  
Duo was now over next to them nodding his head in agreement with the Chinese man. "So what do you say?"   
  
Heero looked back and forth between the two before letting a small smile come to his face. "Yes." Was all he said before his lap was full of a very excited Duo.   
  
  
  
A.C. 199 January   
  
  
  
After accepting Wufei and Duo's offer to be with them, things slowed down to a comfortable pace. Heero still stayed in his room because none of them wanted to jump into anything, especially until Heero was healed. They went out a lot together on dates and sat up watching movies. The Japanese man didn't mind taking time in the relationship he never thought he would have. He just wanted to get himself put back together and spend time with his best-friends and new boyfriends.   
  
He spent the days by himself reading and working out without having someone hanging over him telling him he was working too hard.   
  
He was reading when Relena came into his room almost jumping with excitement. He looked up into her smiling face and couldn't help but smile as well.   
  
"So what's this all about?" he asked as he moved his wheelchair out of the way of the extra chair in the room.   
  
She sat down and immediately jumped into her news. "Well, we've decided on a date."   
  
"That's great! So when is it?"   
  
"May 11."   
  
Heero heard the front door open and set down the book he had been reading and took the brakes off the wheelchair. "Does everyone else know or shall we go and tell them?" he said reaching for the wheels.  
  
"You truly don't mind?" she said hanging back for a moment.  
  
Blue eyes widened. It had been a worry she had been holding onto about him not wanting to escort her down the aisle in a wheelchair. Despite how many times he had told her it was fine. "Rel', how could I let you wait to get married just because I'm in this dumb chair? And besides we don't know how long or if I'll even get out of this chair. If it doesn't bother you, then it's fine with me." he smiled reassuringly at her.  
  
"Ok, if you're sure?"   
  
"I'm sure, let's go."   
  
Wufei and Duo were coming around the corner as Relena and Heero were and the blonde bundle of excitement jumped right in and told them her news. Heero sat back and watched as the news was given with a small, content smile on his face.   
  
He had a secret that no one knew about yet.   
  
  
  
A.C. 199 February 5  
  
  
  
"Come on Heero, you can make it." One of the trainers from the gym had been helping him in his efforts to walk again.   
  
"I'm working on it, Jim. I have to be able to do this in 9 days." He said as he moved himself along the bars. He hadn't told anyone yet that he was so close to walking with braces on his legs. He was hoping that by the time of the wedding he would be walking without any aid. But he had a surprise for the special men in his life that would be on Valentines Day. Making it to the end he sat down in his chair that was waiting on the end and finished off his water. "Damn that still sucked." He said running a towel across his forehead.  
  
Jim sat down beside him. "Man you've got to be the craziest mother fucker I've ever seen. We've been working all day and for the past month and a half. You've progressed so much that I feel weak and pathetic. And I'm a fitness trainer. You'll at least be fine with the braces and I'm sure you'll be out of those in no time. Don't beat yourself up so much, alright man?"  
  
Smiling Heero nodded. "I got ya. Well I better get going. See ya." He said heading to the door. It was a gym not far from the house he found one day just getting out to think for himself. Even though he was cold he loved getting out.  
  
  
  
Valentine's Day  
  
  
  
They were at the karaoke bar they had gone to a lot before the whole mess had started. Just the three of them. They had asked Heero what he wanted to do and this was it. Now he sat at the table nervous as to what was about to happen.   
  
"Earth to Heero, you alright over there?" Duo asked waving a hand in the Japanese mans face.   
  
He smiled and came out of his worries. "Yeah I'm fine. It's just been awhile since I've been to karaoke to sing." He said hoping they would accept that.   
  
"Ok but we're here to have fun, not get ulcers from stressing."   
  
"Ok Duo." He said and then his name was called and he smiled. "Ok let the fun begin." He said to himself when he left to go sing.  
  
Watching him go up to the stage Wufei had a feeling something was up. Then he realized that Heero had gone to the side that had steps and no ramp. "Duo." He said tapping him on the arm to see if he was watching, which he had been. "He's going up the wrong side."  
  
Then they saw him stand up and walk to the mic. Silence was everywhere as the two watched Heero walk to the center of the stage. They knew he had been wearing braces but they didn't think he had progressed to walking yet. So they sat stunned.   
  
  
  
Then when the beautiful voice carried through the club no one could make a sound move as the song was sung in passion and emotion that seemed to have no limits.  
  
As Heero sang he never took his eyes off of Wufei and Duo. And he put all of the love he felt for them come through.  
  
It's hard for me to say the things  
  
I want to say sometimes  
  
There's no one here but you and me  
  
And that broken old street light  
  
Lock the doors  
  
We'll leave the world outside  
  
All I've got to give to you  
  
Are these five words when I  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
For being my eyes   
  
When I couldn't see  
  
For parting my lips   
  
When I couldn't breathe  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
I never knew I had a dream  
  
Until that dream was you  
  
When I look into your eyes  
  
The sky's a different blue  
  
Cross my heart  
  
I wear no disguise  
  
If I tried, you'd make believe  
  
That you believed my lies  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
For being my eyes  
  
When I couldn't see  
  
For parting my lips   
  
When I couldn't breathe  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
You pick me up when I fall down  
  
You ring the bell before they count me out  
  
If I was drowning you would part the sea  
  
And risk your own life to rescue me  
  
Lock the doors  
  
We'll leave the world outside  
  
All I've got to give to you  
  
Are these five words when I  
  
  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
For being my eyes  
  
When I couldn't see  
  
You parted my lips  
  
When I couldn't breathe  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
When I couldn't fly  
  
Oh, you gave me wings  
  
You parted my lips  
  
When I couldn't breathe  
  
Thank you for loving me  
  
  
  
  
  
You could hear a pin drop as the last notes played out and Heero walked to his chair and sat back down with a sigh of relief. Putting that much effort into singing and standing had made him more tired than he thought it would.   
  
When he got back to the table he saw tears on both his loves faces. He smiled at them, "Surprise. Happy Valentine's Day" He said.  
  
They both looked so happy he couldn't peel his eyes away from them. He leaned up out of his chair and kissed them both and then sat back down.   
  
"When did this happen?" Wufei asked the shock finally wearing off.  
  
"I've been working out at the gym down the street. I found a guy who's been helping me." He smiled shyly. "I wanted to do something special for you two after all you've done for me. I know that may not seem like a lot. But I'm working hard and will be up to speed before you know it."   
  
"Doesn't seem like a lot?! Are you insane Heero?" Duo asked leaning on the table. "I think you've just given me about the best gift a person can get."   
  
Heero ducked his head with a smile still on his face. He looked up and then an almost pleading look crossed his face. "Could you do me a favor and not tell anyone else? I want it to be a surprise for the wedding."  
  
"Sure thing."  
  
"That's fine."  
  
They both agreed and all three were walking on cloud nine for the rest of the night. The anticipation Heero had been feeling faded to the purest joy he had ever known.   
  
Once the got back to the house, his boyfriends were acting nervous about something so he finally asked what it was about after the car ride home that was in silence or nervous small talk.  
  
Duo looked to Wufei and after receiving a nod turned back to Heero to tell him what was on their minds. "Well we would like to know if you…" he hesitated for a moment and then went off at full speed. "Wellwewerejustwonderingifyouwouldlikeyouknowifyouwouldwantto…" he stopped and laughed at himself and then slowed down his pace. "This is silly. We would like to know if you want two bodies to keep you warm tonight?"   
  
Heero's eyes bugged out of his head. "Well umm… I uh…"   
  
"Heero you don't have to. We would like for you to, but we understand if you don't" he was cut off by the sputtering Japanese man.  
  
"No! I mean I would love to." he said finally getting his brain to function again. "I was just surprised. But I would love to have some company and…" he looked up blushing. "and the two most beautiful souls in the world to sleep next too."   
  
Duo picked Heero up out of the chair before the blue eyed man knew what was going on. After laying a dizzying kiss on the man in his arms he held him tight. "Thank you. You have given us more joy then you could possibly know."   
  
Once settled in the bed between his two boyfriends he looked back and forth between the two, his heart about to thud through his chest.   
  
"We don't have to do anything Heero, it's up to you. You won't hurt us if you want to wait." Wufei said brushing the messy hair out of Heero's face.  
  
"I just…" he paused trying to thing of how to say anything at this point without sounding stupid.   
  
Fingers were pressed to his lips. "Don't worry love," Duo said. "Just let us show you how much you are loved." He leaned forward and kissed Heero in a long passionate and tender kiss.   
  
With a smile Heero nodded his head not trusting his voice to work right now, and not wanting to ruin the moment.   
  
Heero had never known such love. He had never felt so loved and cherished. They did just as they said they would and showed him a world that shattered the last of the barriers on his heart. Once they were lying still, Wufei noticed Heero's shoulders began to shake and he rolled him over to see tears coming to the others eye's.  
  
"What's wrong Heero?" he asked panic in his voice.  
  
Duo looked on with worried eyes.  
  
"Nothing." Heero said a smile on his lips and tears streaming from his eyes. "Nothing, I've just never felt so much before; so much good that I don't know how to contain it."  
  
Smiles grew on Duo and Wufei's mouths.   
  
"Well," said Duo as he leaned down over Heero, "I guess will just have to make you feel so much that you'll never again remember what it's like to not have it." Then they kissed goodnight and Heero slept better that he ever had.  
  
  
  
Tbc… 


End file.
